Ruiner.

This has nothing to do with my trip but its still mildly entertaining and wholely addictive / annoying. I didnt sit here and write this in a day, me and my friends just added to it over time to ruin everyones life.

So, cancel your plans....

Oh i saw kanye wests girlfriend today. Crackin.

anyway...



Jim Carey wrote the book in the number 23.

Robert Deniro is Charlie in Hide and Seek.

Everyone dies in The Perfect Storm

Carlito dies at the end of Carlitos way.

Bruce Willis is dead the whole time in the Sixth Sense.

The only person in The Departed that doesnt die is Mark Whalburg. And hes an asshole.

Jet Li is the partner Jason Statham is trying to avenge in Rogue Assassin. He has just had plastic surgery.

Everyone bar mr Pink dies in Reservoir Dogs.

Taxi Driver is a shit film, regardless of what anyone tells you.

Watching Scarface will turn you into a self motivated dickhead. And its not very good.

Brad pitt is edward nortons alter ego in Fight Club.

Edward Norton is not Scitsofrenic in Primal Fear.

Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Soze in The Usual Suspects.

Tom Cruise is in a virtual reality game in Vanilla Sky.

Surprise Surprise Transformers has a happy ending, but the dude that looks like matt danan doesnt pump anyone.

Billy Elliot rises above his mediocre upbringing to become a super gay ballet dancer.

The Spanish Esse guy in Goal makes it. But his dad dies.

The mighty Ducks win, even though the odds are stacked against them.

Coach Carters team doesnt win.

Regardless of her leg movements, Sharon stone is the Killer in Basic Instinct.

Edward Furlong Dies at the end of American history X.

In Clerks 2, The fat bearded guy ends up marrying the cool black chick, not the scrawny whitey.

Bricktop dies at the end of Snatch.

The killer in saw is the bald guy on the floor that you think is dead.

Kevin Spacey is the killer in 7, and gwyneth paltrow gets decapitated and put in a head box.

I like Mulholland Drive, but it is about nothing at all.

Al Pacino is Satan in the devils advocate.

The crying game is actually named based on a dude finding out that the girl he is persuing has a penis.

No matter how many films you watch with him in it, Steven Segal will never smile. Even at christmas.

Bacteria kills all the aliens in War of the worlds.

Samuel L Jackson causes all the accidents and catastrophes in Unbreakable.

The innocent white guy in Shawshank Redemption chisels a hole in his wall during the whole movie, then escapes.

Nicolas Cage is entrusted by the police in Con Air to land a plane in Las Vegas, even though he is neither a pilot, nor an innocent man.

The village is actually based in modern times and the village exists in a national park fenced off from the modern world. The monsters are just the elders dressed up to stop the kids from getting too curious.

Princess Leia is Lukes Sister, Darth his father.

In the Others, Nicole Kidman and her kids are dead the whole time, they are infact the ghosts.

Bruce Willis, despite being cornered, captured and put to death over 30 times in the Die Hard series, never actually dies.

In Scream, the girls boyfriends are the killers. I think one of them is called Skeet Ulrich. What a shit name.

Rizzo from Grease's real name is Stockard Channing. What the fuck.

In a History of Violence, the main character is infact an ex Mob bad ass that is trying to be a small town family man. When found out, he kills the mob, then returns to being a family man.

Not related to movies, Ex France and Chelsea defender Frank Le Boef's name, when translated, means Frank : The Beef.

In "One Night in Paris", paris hilton does not "Do" the bottle, even though the dude try's to get her to.

Training day is infact a non fictional biopic based on Denzel Washingtons life before being an actor.

Dr Dre was denied an Oscar for his stirling role in Training day because he's black

Despite being retarded, Forrest Gump becomes a multi millionare.

the whole movie identity takes place inside the head of a psycotic killer, and at the end, the kid is the real killer, forcing the man to go on being a serial killer.

ashton kutcher never perfects his life in The Butterfly Effect, so to save the girl he loves from ending up a skanky hooker, he returns to the womb and strangles himself so he never exists.

Ashton Kutchers marraige to Demi Moore is just a very long winded attempt at Punking Bruce Willis.

In The Beach, paradise is lost after a series of events including a shark attack and Leonardo DiCaprio fucking the Witch from Narnia.

At the end of Running Scared, regardless of the plot up to the final scene, Paul Walker is, yet again, an undercover cop.

In home alone, kevin yet again defeats the wet bandits, returning them safely behind bars.

Lady in the water, is infact shit.

Your going to hate me but in 'The Prestige' Christian Bale's big trick is a fake, he has an identical twin brother with whome he takes turns dressing as his manager to live an elaborate double life. His wife kills herself, one of the twins hangs to death for killing hugh jackman, who turns out to be alive after finding out how to clone himself, but ends up dying at the hands of Christian Bale.

In cry wolf, jon bon jovi does a poor job of convincing the world of acting ability.

In man on Fire, Denzel washington kills pretty much every bad guy in mexico, the girl who you think is dead, isnt. denzel hands himself over to the drug cartel dudes in exchange for the child and is subsequently killed. The little girls dad set up the whole kidnapping and ends up killing himself out of guilt.

Hey Ben and Danny, Tony kills christopher cos he gets back on the gear after a car accident in the last couple of episodes of the soprano's. You dont get to see but Tony gets whacked when the screen goes black at the very end.

The guy in hotrod makes the $50k for his step fathers operation.

Angelina Jolie get pumped hard in Original Sin. Like you werent expecting that. Thats why you got it out.

In "we own the night, Jaquin (whatever) Phoenix becomes a cop after his dad is murdered, and he kills that bad ass dude, and his bangin girlfriend leaves him.

I dont remember what happens in The Kingdom cos i was cracked out on Morphene and Tramidol, but if i did know, i would tell you.

Denzel rats out everyone at the end of american gangster and cuts a sweet deal with the DA. Russel Crowe ends up as his lawyer.

At the end of Dejavu, after huge gaping plot holes and generally shitty acting, Denzel washington kills himself to save the girl. Or something.

In This is England, the dude from the Arctic monkeys clip is a fucking psycho. He basically loses his mind and fucks everyone up for no reason. The kid ends up fat and miserable.

I thought that Night at the Roxbury was an 80's movie, like the breakfast club, However it isnt, and while it was sort of funny, it has no twist to ruin.

The licensing department is actually a demonic organsiation set up purely to make one Scott Mellors life hell. Movie out soon

In Smokin Aces, after finding out that his partner was killed in the violence that ensued from a government coverup to gather information from a Cop turned mob boss, Van Wilder kills both Ari and the Mob boss by unplugging their life support.

in high fidelity john cusak gets back with his ex, unfortunately his real life sister doesnt die, in the movie, nor real life.

In eastern promises, the guy from lord of the rings is an undercover cop. and also a bad ass that kills people while naked.

in 21, they con the professor, the security cons them.

in when in vegas, ashton kutcher keeps all the money, but they fall in love & stay together anyway.

in the virgin suicides, all the girls kill themselves. why, i still don't know.

in city of angels, nicholas cage decides to become human. he & meg ryan fall in love, then she stupidly rides her bike with no hands on a main road and is hit by a truck & dies, making nicolas cages' sacrifice a huge long winded waste of time.

in cruel intentions, ryan phillippe falls in love then is hit by a car & dies. And he doesn't "put it anywhere" in Buffy

in december boys, the couple choose to adopt misty, but he says no.

in p.s. i love you, the girl doesn't choose harry connick jnr.

in deep blue sea, only the main guy & cuba gooding jnr survive. Samuel L jackson gets eaten by a shark while making his moving "we're not going to die" speech.

in dan in real life, dan gets his brothers sloppy seconds.

in what lies beneath, harrison ford is the bad guy.

not a spoiler as such, but milo & otis was made before all those 'animal cruelty laws' came about, so many puppies & kittens died.

Rob made me watch this fucking shit movie Electroma by Daft Punk. Now im all for daft punk but i hate that everyone associates anything they do with the word "amazing". Now this is a spoiler. Im going to tell you every single thing that happens in this masterpiece. Ready..... Robots drive in car. Robots get fake human skin and faces. Skin melts off. Robots walk through desert. One robot self destructs. Other robot cant reach self destruct button. Robot sets himself on fire and continues walking. The end. Amazing my ass. fuck u rob.

In 1408 the room is actually haunted, once you enter you can never leave. Its sort of like perth. The guy from High Fidelity dies cos he sets the room on fire, effectively taking it to hell with him.

In ATL, T.I. keeps it real, the girl he's dating is actually rich as shit, he finds out, leaves her ass, then his younger brother gets shot by Big Boi from outkast and TI and his girl are reunited at the hospital. His bro doesnt die. Theres heaps of gay rollerskating in it too. I used to think TI was dope.

in sex and the city, big doesn't marry carrie til the end. there are too many louise/st louis/louis vuitton puns. miranda hates sex. samantha gets fat. and charlotte shits herself. and no, I'm not kidding.

In Bruges (brooj) is pretty funny, but everyone dies. the three main characters at least. and the midget. well at least you imagine that colin farrel dies. cos he gets shot heaps of times.

In the dark night heaps of shit happens, you know cos you have seen it. just like everyone else. Pretty sure harvey 2 face dies though.oooh and so does the girl that was played by Joey Potter in the first one but they couldnt get her back because of somethign to do with scientology to do the second one so they got the girl who is the sister of the dude that heath ledger pumps in brokeback mountain.

I had to stop watching brokeback mountain cos me and tom were really hungover and it was just a bit wierd hearing that first sex scene with your mate sitting there. I dont really know why. Sort of like when a sex scene comes on and your watching a movie with your mum. You get that lump in the throat swallow thing that can be heard for miles.

In wanted the dude ends up becoming a mad assasin. They actually have him hunting his real dad, by making him think that his real dad was killed by the guy he is hunting. He figures it all out and then lifts the lid on the fact that the whole assasination choosing thing is being rigged by the black dude from Seven and everyone dies. except for the scottish dude.

Pineapple express is fucking shit. Apart from the "you just got killed by a daewoo lanos" or whatever he says. that was hilarious

Never Back down is exactly the same film as Step up (1+2) except its about fighting and not dancing. Serious its the same.

Eagle Eye is so shit. A computer that is created by the "government" for national security and to fight "terrorists" with "information" realises that america is evil and turns on its own country. It is super real too cos the computer has a computerised woman voice and is surrounded by heaps of futuristic looking mirrors and shit. but in the end america is good and the computer dies and everyone leaves the cinema wishing they had the last 90 minutes back.

In Biggy and Tupac, the documentary team visit Suge Knight in prison, the camera man shits it so hard that he starts filming the sky and ground and shit. Then he peeks back at Suges entrouage and bails. Its one of the funniest things i have ever seen.

Ironman is sick. I thought it was gunna suck ass really bad but it was actually totally entertaining. Robert Downey Junior should really just drop the whole junior thing though. No one knew your dad. He is only relevent because your name indicates that you have a father with the same name. And is that really important enough to reference in your name. No it isnt. Lose it.

Im so sick of Will Smith and his feel good movies. Even though they make me consider being a better person.

In Gone Baby Gone, Ben Afflecks younger brother plays a private detective that looks like a child but is a bad ass. He pulls his gun on dudes and even shoots a pedofile. Anyway, this girl goes missing, her mum is a crack head, turns out the police set up some elaborate scheme to kidnap the girl so that Morgan Freeman can have her as his daughter because his died. No one thought the crack head would mind. And she sort of doesnt. Regardless, Ben Afflecks brother blows the lid on the whole thing, loses his girlfriend and takes the daughter from her kidnappers and returns her to her crackhead mum.

Rocknrolla is rad. All you really need to know is that the old gangster dude that you hope is going to die, does. Turns out he was working with the police and grassing on everyone in the London underworld. His Junkie son is fucking hilarious. Oh and handsome bob is gay, and the dude from 300 holds him like a child.

Season 7 of the shield was so intense. I got so used to the intensity that now i jump through glass windows at random just to feel normal again.

Gus Van Sant is such a shit director. Its like, make a movie about something that would hugely interest the public, say... Columbine. If any glitzy hollywood director pitched that there would be the hugest uproar, there would be social groups and politicians waving there arms about how it is sacred and its too soon to make a movie about it, disrespectful etc. But cos GVS makes such fucking boring artsy shit films that dont really make much sense, everyone is like, fuck it... go nuts mr Van Sant. You know what is disrespectful, making a fucking headache inducing self indulgent movie out of a tragedy. If i was killed at high school, i would much rather have a movie with huge explosions and famous actors in it, all the dead students are rolling in their graves everytime someone rents Elephant.

In cloverfield, everyone dies, and the video recorder gets trashed.

That new mark whalburg film is fucking shit. the comic book one. i had no idea what was going on for most of it. i think i need to play more xbox or something.

If you watch the first 12 chapters of R Kellys Trapped in the Closet, you would give him a pass on the whole pissing thing. Its the greatest story ever told.

I got out Honey, thinking it was going to be as good as step up. but it wasnt.

The dude from Scary Movie, i think he's in most of them, like the main guy, did gay porn when he was a struggling actor. It was on E News. Gay porn is probably funnier than any of the Scary Movie series, though i dont really want to know for sure.

In Gran Torino the racist old war veteran with a good heart played by Clint Eastwood befriends his somewhere from South East Asia neighbours and goes down in a blaze of glory during one-on-seven street justice battle. Toad/Taoh gets the Gran Torino. The bad ass grand daughter with the belly ring and an attitude problem gets nothing.

In Slumdog Millionaire, the indian kid from Skins gets the girl, he doesnt cheat in the game show, his asshole brother dies and he wins 16 million or something. Then they all dance at the end.

In No Country for Old Men, the dude from Sarah Jessica Barcelona or whatever its called, kills everyone. Mainly with a compressed air cannister. Its morbidly depressing and he doesnt die or get caught. And Tommy Lee Jones is the lamest cop in the world.