not too bad really. Sat next to two old men who were totally entertaining in their hatred for eachother. An indian and a pakistani sit on a plane.. I thought they knew eachother but turns out they were just random haters. I told them that they had 10 hours to find something in common. I got blank stares.
Started watching a movie and my screen kept dying, called over the air hostess man and he said there was nothing he could do, so i asked if i could just chill in first class cos there were spare seats avail. He laughed at me. I wasnt joking. 10 hours without a TV on a plane. Fuck that.
So i was playing round on my laptop and it started to die, i asked another attendant if there was a power supply. "only in first class". hmmm. First class seemed to be where it was all happening. So i waited for a bit then made my move. I slid into first class un noticed, sprawled out in the little lifepod seat, flicked on the TV and lived life. Lasted about 25 minutes before the air hostess guy sussed out my shadyness. He wasnt siked, I was even less siked. Back to economy for me.
Landed to find my cousin Nik who i hadnt seen in 11 years waiting for me. Was pretty romantic. Came back to his place to hang out and meet his heavily pregnant and totally awesome girlfriend carolina. They decided that naming the pending child was too hard so its been left up to me. Game on.
Went out and met up with my sister and her boyfriend in central london, fought jetlag like a demon, went and saw poison the well play in camden. Was rad, camden was sort of like cancer though.
Man i have had such little time to write in this thing, the above was written like a week ago. Heres some photos. (these are all done on a digi so they suck)
Toby in the alps
Kissing corpses
wanker
nothing happened
soooo heres some observations about london.
people here are ugly. I dont know if its environmental, or that they jsut drink too much, maybe its got something to do with the lack of sunlight, perhaps they are slowly moving into being aquatic creatures on the count of the general climate and dampness, who fucking knows, but in general London, you are ugly. you see a hot girl here and she is literally guarded by her boyfriend. He pretty much puts her in a cage and wheels her around while holding a gun while all these chunk looking dudes groan and try and grope her through the bars. I dont know if anyone followed that.
I grew up, well spent a fair bit of time growing up, in Joondalup. Most of my Joondalup memories revolve around drinking in English pubs, talking with english friends, drinking pints, watching football and going to really shit clubs where people fight eachother and hook up with fat english ex pat girls. Me Nick and Toby went out the other night in Kingston and all of those memories came flooding back. The music was 10years out of date, the fashion was exactly the same as the early 2000's in Joondalup and there were a lot of pale fat girls and chav looking loser dudes.... fail.
It gets better though, we went to a bar on easter sunday called chocolate or something. I decided after 10 minutes that me nick and tobes would be better suited to a VIP booth with a bottle of vodka. So i just invaded a private booth and sat down. The dude whose booth it was came up and told us to leave. I told him that i was only in london for 2 nights and i wasnt going to spend it amongst the grime. I ordered a bottle of vodka for the table and the dude let us stay, he was actuall really cool., Turns out he was one of the biggest club promoters in london, night turned out to be a good laugh. Nik has this drunken habit of randomly telling people where they are from. Example, There is a big jet black bouncer in Camden and nick says "your from somalia". The dude is, they talk about somalia (nic has travelled the world and has lots of random cultural knowledge). Sometimes he gets it wrong. He called a chav kid a palestinian and the kid said he was going to kill us all or something. His gf then warned us that he was "dangerous" and we should run... nope. Needless to say, we are all still alive. Kid was a mad liar.
This is me nick and toby so u can put faces to the names
Table hookers are the same in london as in LA. Girls snake through the vip booths looking for free drinks and then slither off. Their eyelids actually close sideways and they are quite venomous. (and the english ones have bad dental)
Met up with grant in Mile End. Went and saw grand master flash and Jazzy Jeff. Was dope.
Went to tobys joint in Coventry. His mates are a good laugh, would have liked to spend more time there but london is much more central. Me and toby are pretty much like thelma and louise though. Been raging pretty hard and driving cars off cliffs and shit. We went walking through london and the streets were totally empty. Took this nostalgia shot (the second was taken 2007ish in sydney). Homeless international...
London 2009
Sydney 2007
Manchester is dope. Went out to a club with toby where i got all dressed up and drank with millionaire teenagers. The carpark was full of audis, range rovers and porches.. And tobys 1979 VW Jetta. Pimpin. Oh and rich manchunians are the best looking people out. Shit was crazy
My cousin simon has hooked me up like a demon. Scored me tix to the FA cup semi final at wembley. I got the train from Manc to london in the morning, dropped my stuff at Michelle and Chris' place and bailed to Wembley. Dropped probably the worst gas of all time on the train, no one knew it was me but everyone was losing their minds. All the football geezers started chanting about it. It was actually amazing. I wasnt goign to mention that i farted on this blog, but shit, about a hundred people were chanting in its honour.
United fucking lost. Off it.
Met up with internet celebrity Charlie B in london and stayed in the same hostel for a few nights. She likes to get drunk and fall over while walking home. She also likes to go to australian bars with 1 pound drinks. Drinks good, people bad. Imagine black bettys but... actually, just think black bettys. I actually stepped completely out of my shoe in there and my shoe was stuck to the floor. Lots of australians acting like tools, was a good laugh though.
Went on a red bus rooftop tour. Im a tourist.
Scammed first class on the train to coventry. was rad.
London has so much history its amazing, but u already know that
this was cool.
found some banksy stuff, pretty off it, cos there are banksy tours and shti now. I liked it better when it was still pretty unknown. By me knowing about it, im as much a part of the problem as everyone else i suppose.
Kicking off europe earlier than expected. Not loving london. may 30 - barcelona, may 7 amsterdam then berlin, prague spain and down to south of france. Will be home late may now i think. Who knows. Got work to do.
I my have missed the whole backpacker thing by a few years maybe. Or mayb just london backpacking. Im all for the party but i dont need to do it in underwear with writing on my body skulling a jug and fingering girls in rank pubs while singing living on a prayer.
Michelle and Chris' place is awesome.
Meeting up with some old friends this week, including Claire, who is engaged to a dude that (in this photo) looks a bit like me. creepy.
Seeing Nat too, who i havent seen in about 10 years. Should be random, but a bit of local london knowledge goes far im sure, shes been living here a while.
going to see united vs tottenham this week. Siked. Then next week its the champions league semi final at old trafford against arsenal. Will be calling bladam after the match..
Saw another man that looked like a hot woman. Shit is confusing, i miss simple gender defineable perth. No i didnt do anything, i just saw her/him. creepy.
london tube system is fucking amazing. best public transport system.
Im going to stop drinking for a few days, realised i have been out every night since i got to the UK.
Flights home are fucking expensive. Just checked. Damn.
will be calling danny from an airport begging for a flight home. Dejavu. Dejavoodoo.
going to lurk london tomorrow and take some snaps with the canon. It hasnt been out yet in the UK.
Hope everyone is livin.
see your asses soon enough.
your nobody till your talked about.
xoxo.
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