Fashion Week's Over. Go Home.

I have been to America a number of times now, hung out and had stories to tell at the end of it. San Fran, Hollywood, Las Vegas etc. For som reason I hadn't ever ventured to the east coast. Everyone from home that has embarked on any type of states travel had raved to me about how great New York was. So on this trip, i thought fuck it, Ill check it out.

We left LA and made the 5 odd hour flight to NYC to be greeted by this stylish bastard at the airport



John has been travelling through the Euro's for the last month or so and has a blog that has a name cooler than mine. YON VOYAGE

We had talked about him coming over and hanging out while we were in the states, but i doubted it would happen. Most people are all talk, Yon however, is all action. A few nights before I left Aus, I got a text message from an unknown European number letting me know that he had booked his flights and would be meeting us in NYC.

Great story I know, but if you have ever read the lame shit i post on here, you know that I pretty much just start talking and after a few paragraphs, things get half interesting.

Thanks for coming this far with me.

Spaks was living in SanFrancisco for the last 9 months or so and flew out to meet us too. He had been at Burning Man the week before and we were unsure if he was going to arrive in LA as the same dude we knew before. For those of you who dont know, burning man is a huge DIY festival in the desert where everyone does heaps of mind bending drugs and they get naked and set fire to a large wooden effigy. Or something.



So the 4 of us all linked up in New York. We stayed on Waverly and Broadway, pretty muh on the NYU campus on the Lower East Side, just up from Soho. Great area, heaps of cool bars and resteraunts etc, not pricey, not pretentious.

Our apartment was meant to sleep 4 but instead it was a double bed and a small couch. 2 in the bed, 1 on the floor, 1 on the couch. No homo.

Hung out mostly around LES. I seriously want to move there, the area is amazing.

Took a train to brooklyn, met a girl on the train that was giving us directions. Conversation started off with her telling us what was good in brooklyn, to why ignorant people hate tattoos, to eventually telling us about how she liked to be suspended from her body piercings and "fucked up shit like that". So it is little surprise that taking her directions was a bad idea. We got off, as instructed at Dekalb station. 4 white dudes..
Well, 3 white dudes and dwight. Im going to have to back track here a little. Dwight likes to dress a little bit hip hop from time to time. Not usually a problem in "the hood" that is Perth, but put him on the streets of new york, rocking a shirt that says "DIRTY GHETTO KIDS" in massive letters, and you get some interesting responses from, you know, dudes that have actually spent time in the ghetto. The blacker you dress, the whiter you are. Fact.



Anyway, I digress. We get off at Dekalb, walk about 3 blocks and realise quickly that every single person there knows we are lost. Every store sold jewellery, fitted caps and nikes. We witnessed a bizzare car accident where a dude was arguing with the woman in the car behind him, he gets out to confront her, forgets his truck is set to reverse, and watches while his unmanned car crunches into hers. Shit was real.

But regardless of anything, nobody bothered us, we got a few harsh stares and a few laughs here and there, but we were sweet. If shit was to get real, im sure i could have explained how much i listen to NY hip hop and we would have been sweet...



We hit up a bunch of dive bars in Soho/Grenwich village. So many cool bars, just doors with no signs etc. $3 beers.

Heres some snaps so that you keep reading.

















Ended up meeting some dude that ran a surf shop on the east side. He invited us out to a Volcom party and screening of their new snowboarding video. Jack mentioned on the way in that snowboarders are pretty much on the same level as rollerbladers.
The dude that ran volcom was there, as were a bunch of pro snowboarders. Had a few drinks, headed to the theatre that had a line around the block for people trying to get in to the screening. We were skipped to the front of the cue, got to see the first screening, and I managed to fall asleep within 2 or 3 minutes. Legit.



Linked up with Jacks mate Charlotte who is living in NYC with her bf. Her place is amazing, sweet apartment with an amazing rooftop where you can see pretty much all of the east river, the statue of liberty etc. Charlotte was dope, she showed us around a few cool bars. We ended up linking up with a bunch of her friends, playing pool and hanging out in their sweet apartment. Ended up getting a noise complaint and the NYPD rocked up and asked us to leave. Realised we were a few blocks from ground zero and it was 4am on September 11. Police were a little bit cautious..

Went to ground zero on sept 11. Not sure why, i mean, your in NYC, its september 11. We were going to check it out anyway, but it just sort of made sense to go on that day. Sort of wish i didnt. Thousands of people walking the streets, completely silent. No one was on a mic instructing the crowd to do anything, it was just eerie, people were just walking and not saying a word. Very un nerving. I literally couldnt fathom that there had been 2 buildings where we were standing. Shit is crazy.











Charlotte took us to Ameture Night at The Apollo. Definately one of the best nights I have had since being away. We cabbed it out to Harlem and took our seats, I had no idea what to expect. Basically, its a talent show that has been running for years. The crowd is encouraged to cheer or boo depending on the act. If the crowd boos enough, a dude runs out on stage and sweeps the act off. The night prestigious and lots of people have got their big break there, apparently james brown was discovered there.

Anyway, it was amazing. This is footage from the night. This dude was super entertaining. The crowd was divided, half boos and half cheers during the song, it looked like he was about to get swept off, so he just stopped singing and started dancing his ass off. He made it through the whole song and ended up coming 4th. Give me the greeennn liggggght.



A buck toothed bald woman won. In fairness, she probably put on the greatest peformance i have ever seen live.

Im getting way too indepth here, but yeah, I had a good time in NYC.

It was the last couple of days of fashion week when we got into New York. Heaps of stunning people everywhere. Some rapper tried to sell us a CD when we were walking down broadway. We declined. He got pissed. Yonny has flamboyant hair. Dude yells "Fashion Week's Over. Go Home." Golden.

Went to hundreds new store. Dope



Met up with Kim and Jess who are travelling from Perth. Went up the empire state building. It was tall. Tried to take them to brooklyn. Got lost. Ended up following Yonny around while he tried to buy shoes. All day.

Went to a comedy show in times square. Australians wouldnt stop talking in the corner. Everyone wanted to kill them. Dude from 30 Rock did some standup. I got called out by one of the comedians but came out unscathed. Good times.

So for all of these great tales of New York, it wasnt all roses. Below is a story of heartache. Read with tissues close.



JAY Z & EMINEM LIVE AT YANKEE STADIUM IN THE BRONX.

Like this wasn't going to be the best concert of the last 10 years. Jay Z in his home town, Eminems first tour since he stopped sucking. I have no doubt at all that this show will come out on DVD. A DVD that i will never watch, as i fear these wounds will never fully heal.

Me Dwight and Yonny decided that we were going to hit the show. It was on our last night in NYC and it seemed like a perfect end to our time there. Ticketmaster tickets were sold out, but there was a tonne of tickets on reseller sites (which are legit out here) like stepup etc. Unfortunately, through the reseller sites, you need to input the credit card billing address (the addy where your card is registered to) in with your credit card details, then they send the tickets to that address. I didnt want to risk the tickets getting posted back to Australia and us missing the show, so we decided to go with option b. Craigslist.

I have talked about craigslist before. I havent had a bad experience with it, but we went into this situation fully aware that there are con artists etc on the site.

We ended up hitting up a few people on there, there was hundreds of tickets available. In the end, we decided to buy 3 tickets for $150 each from one dude. He came and delivered the tickets to us, me and dwight looked closely at them before handing any money over. The tickets looked legit. I assume most of the people that read this know myself and the dudes I was travelling with. We arent chumps, the tickets looked completely real. Printed on legitimate ticketmaster stock, all the barcode ref numbers were different etc.



Anyway. Money is handed over, pleasantrys exchanged. Tickets aquired. We were still skeptical, but we were confident that the tickets were legit.

Fast forward to 2 days later.

We jump a train to the bronx. Cue up for nearly an hour with about 5000 people trying to get into one gate. Push, shove, go through metal detectors, hand tickets to the dudes that are frantically scanning....

"Where did you get these"

"Craigslist."

"You've been fucked. Go to customer service at gate 4"

Its a small conselation but the cue at customer service was around 400 people deep, and after a lot of cuing and chatting with other suckers, we realised that pretty much everyone had the same fake tickets. Someone made a killing, we didnt get to see the show. Shit is rough.

Just to turn the knife a little more, secret guests that came out at the show: Dr Dre, Chris Martin from Coldplay, 50 cent, Beyonce and Kanye West.



Fuck you New York. (I still love you)


We ended up heading to Times Square because Cudi was playing a free show for the Halo launch. Unfortunately there were about a thousand nerdy kids already cuing, not to see Cudi, but to get the game before their other mates, so we couldnt get in there either.

We ended up having an absolute bender night though. Jess and Kim came out and we met up with Charlotte, drank Four Loco (google this, 12.5% alc energy drink that tastes like petrol) and partied at Lit Lounge till about 5am. Me and dwight got an hours sleep and I caught my first ever drunk flight. NYC to SF. Never again.

p.s. yonny, dwight and jack, post your pics up, you slow motherfuckers.

xx

Thanks for coming.

Bought a card reader on Hollywood bvd from a hustler dude that owned a variety store for $30. It was marked at $70 so he said it was a bargain. Its a great concept, if you own a store, just mark all your tshirts at $300 and then sell them for $40. Why has the world not caught onto this.

Went to Venice beach, I have spent a fair bit of time in LA and had never before made the trip. Amazing place, will be staying there next time Im out here i think. Such a stark contrast to the city. Santa Monica pier is pretty much the setting of a constant teen movie. Quite possibly the lamest place I have been to in my life.

Drove the wrong way down the Pacific Coast Highway and ended up driving all the way through malibu. Baller.

snappy.


Santa Monica Pier. Like the Wanneroo Markets by the beach occupied by fat people listening to the Dawsons Creek soundtrack.











Venice Beach. - Heaps of buff dudes, cliche people, arty types, crack heads and dogs wearing glasses.









On the way back we drove down Rodeo drive. Hoping to see beyonce.



No luck.

This is a photo of dwight in a cab.



Dwight nearly crashed the car. Completely his fault. He will maintain that the guy that he cut off on Fairfax was driving "like 200k's an hour maaan". This is not true. Dwight is just not good at driving. Someone twitter that.

Drove up into the hills with Kurt to see the LA view. Ended up near Griffith Park and couldnt find a park. There was a part of the hill that had a Do not enter sign, as we were in a rental I decided that it would be best if we ignored such requests. Up we went through the witches hats to find..... Free parking right at the enterance of Griffith Observatory. If you havent driven in LA this wont mean shit to you, but if you have, free parking next to a landmark is pretty much unheard of. I personally think everyone should stop obeying all laws.









Did a bunch of work and ended up going downstairs to the pool for "one drink" at like midnight. Met 3 black dudes and ended up rolling around hollywood in a white SUV listening to hardcore and talking shit. Casper and his crew were good people, i do believe we are now homeboys. Bitch.

update - im now finishing this post like a few days later.

Last time i was out here i met a good mate called Mike Tunney. He throws a bunch of partys down in the OC. He was throwing a weekender down by the beach called Pacific Fest. Ended up driving down with Luke and catching The Sounds, Steve Aoki and Chiddy Bang all play. Best time i have had in so long, good mates, free alcohol and crazy shows. Caught up with Steve and his girlfriend (fiance) Tiernon for the first time since Aus, saw Jacob get thrown into an involuntary crowd surf, ended up drunk in some random diner real talking with Dwight. Good times.

The Sounds


Jacob


Tunney


Everytime i get snapped on Cobrasnake i look like a fuckhead. - Me Luke and Dwight.







Ended up hitting Drais again and got love from the friends that be. Unfortunately some shitty androgenous nu wave band were also at the table and drank most of the bottle between re applying bowie-esque eye makeup. Met a dude with a terror shirt on, turned out to be one of Crafters Mates.

Ronnys photobooth. Im an unphotogenic asshole.




Still Drais: Dwight ended up pulling some girl who he fell in love with and she put conditioner allover my bathroom and trashed the mini bar. I returned home to find my hotel room trashed and no dwight. He ended up returning as the sun came up with stories of cock blocking friends and not going to Eve's house because he was thought to be a possible thief..

Anyway, he went on a date the next night and didn't return. Dude definately isnt into the whole "gentleman dont kiss and tell" ideal. I feel like i was pretty much there. And it isnt good.

Finished off my driving in LA experience by gunning it to LAX in our trusty gay hybrid. Thanks Prius. Its been real.

In NYC now, its amazing, but thats another post all together.

having the time of my life, thoughts are with mates back home.

miss you CH x

peace.

I bet he's Australian.

whattup whattup whattup.

A lot of people hit me up after my last America trip in regards to this blog, saying that they really enjoyed reading it, or saying how it made them want to travel and that sort of thing. To be honest, i didnt really think that it was widely read, then again, if most of your lives are as boring as mine are when im in perth, the drunken typing of a travelling man is a welcome vacation from your office lives. With that being said, there is now pressure mounted on me to have a note worthy time out here, the sort of pressure I am not used to being under, therefore i fear that this blog may now suck. You ruined it by reading it. Anticipation is a bitch.

I havent got a card reader yet, i was hoping to pop up some snaps, but to be honest, you could probably just check back a few entries to the last couple of times i was in LA. Shit still looks the same, i have spent enough time here now to not be too inspired to take photos of everything. I did however get a new toy though, a Canon 40d off of craigslist for $600 US. Bargain. However, all of this shit you are going to see in this post is hipstamatic. Awww yeah.

Craigslist is the greatest thing in america. You can find literally anything on there, from Cameras, Apartments and crossdressing swinger couples to party locations and cambodian breast milks.

Anyway, im sort of just talking shit here so ill give you the lowdown on how things have been so far.

Dorcia Birthday party was mental, worked till about 4am then headed to Delby and Rach's place to pick up some sleeping drugs to ease the pain of flying internationally while 6"6 with anger management issues. Check this shit out


Unfortunately I left the pills on the counter and was forced to fly unarmed by pharmecudicals. Asshole.


bye.


So i went to sydney for a day/night, caught up with my sister and hit up a club called Fake. Was pretty large, i was pretty boring. Thanks Sydney.

fireworks are hard to photograph


fail.


Ended up buying some sleeping pills from the airport that made me feel like i was mentally retarded, i opted to continue taking them till i was passed out as there was some demonic child screaming (like really really screaming) for the whole flight. I think i crashed out for most of it. Oh Ironman 2 sucks.

Got into LA and checked into the Roosevelt, bumped into Jake Brown and Andrea in the lobby, unfortunately we were checking in and they were checking out so we didnt get to hang out, but it was cool to see friends on the other side of the world.

Hit up the new Dimmak night Cannonball at a club called Drais. Drais is the pool area on the top of the W complex in Hollywood. Place is ridiculous, caught up with all of my good mates on the first night, realised how much i missed bottle service at clubs, remembered how much LA kicks ass over perth.



Hit up a bunch of stores on Fairfax / Melrose. Place is still a bit gross by day, but Im glad to be back.










Funny shit that has happened so far.

Dwight sleeps like 90% of the day. He wears a beanie like he is about to go to a hipster fashion parade (I cant hate on this cos so do I most of the time, but not while im sleeping) and looks like he is retarded. He doesnt snore though so thats a win.

Luke now parties, every other time I have been here I have been trying to guilt him into coming out, this time he is hitting me up daily to rage. Quality.

One of the dudes at the Hundreds store decided he wanted dwights HAL cap so he swapped it for a Hundreds one.

Hundreds store is dope.


HUF store was 50% off. Bonus.

Went out to Cinespace on tuesday night and got horrendously drunk. Don't remember getting home, slept till 3pm then threw up. So classy.









Mike Giant and Sheppard Fairy (Obey) have done a big collab piece on the wall of Barracuda LA. Very cool. The girl that works there is a bitch though.

Getting a massive tattoo on your arm then flying across the country is setting yourself up for discomfort.

I miss my girlfriend. Its been a long time since i have been away from home and had someone to miss. Its cool. She is a school teacher.



We rented a car so that we could go and check some cool spots out. I have managed to not really drive in LA at all up until this point. We went and picked up Jacob from Steves place the other night and i decided to take on Laurel Canyon Bvd. Win. I pretty much own the roads out here now.

There are so many radio stations here but for some reason the only english speaking station we could find was KROQ, which is pretty much nu metal radio. Sitting in traffic on Hollywood bvd, listening to Pappa Roach's - Cut my life into pieces, driving a Hybrid Toyota Priess makes us pretty much the whitest guys alive.

Im gunna buy a card reader tomorrow and tell more stories.

Oh hang on, went to the Roosevelt pool bar last night with Luke and Jacob etc and John Mayer was standing next to us with a bunch of Australian girls that thought they were the shit. You know when you automatically know that someone is a dick? That is the overwhelming feeling i got about the girls that were almost definately hours away from an easy listening soft rock gang bang. John seemed alright though. That fat kid with glasses from "Sex Drive" was there too. It does sound like a strange dream, but it wasn't. They were in the burger joint later too, I am really looking for a place to drop a "your body is a wonderland" reference here. Its not going to happen.



Dwight saw jake gylenhall. He was so siked on seeing john mayer too, like giddy, like a school girl.

The elevators at the Roosevelt are strange. No joke, i would say that about 90% of the people i have had a conversation with in the elevator have been australian. Even celebrities like wolfmother singer and darren hayes last time i was here. So to illustrate this point, we were all in the elevator the other night and 2 people got in, I said that they were probably Aussies, and you guessed it, they were. Great story i know.. However, later that night, there is 5 of us in the elevator heading up to the room and some random guy gets in. Dwight says "I bet your australian" as a joke, the dude is english and is lamely offended. He starts talking all tough, then the doors open and it is his floor. The dude is acting like a tool, and he finally exits the elevator. He stands at the door and says sarcastically "have a great night". In the most perfectly timed childish insult of all time, just as the doors were about to close, I requested that he felate me, he made a grasp for the doors, but it was too late. Sadly, this was the funniest thing i have done in quite some time.


Theres heaps more but i doubt you read this much.

night night.