Scott isn't in Perth Man

Fashion Week's Over. Go Home.

2010-09-16T00:04:00.000-07:00

I have been to America a number of times now, hung out and had stories to tell at the end of it. San Fran, Hollywood, Las Vegas etc. For som reason I hadn't ever ventured to the east coast. Everyone from home that has embarked on any type of states travel had raved to me about how great New York was. So on this trip, i thought fuck it, Ill check it out.

We left LA and made the 5 odd hour flight to NYC to be greeted by this stylish bastard at the airport

John has been travelling through the Euro's for the last month or so and has a blog that has a name cooler than mine. YON VOYAGE

We had talked about him coming over and hanging out while we were in the states, but i doubted it would happen. Most people are all talk, Yon however, is all action. A few nights before I left Aus, I got a text message from an unknown European number letting me know that he had booked his flights and would be meeting us in NYC.

Great story I know, but if you have ever read the lame shit i post on here, you know that I pretty much just start talking and after a few paragraphs, things get half interesting.

Thanks for coming this far with me.

Spaks was living in SanFrancisco for the last 9 months or so and flew out to meet us too. He had been at Burning Man the week before and we were unsure if he was going to arrive in LA as the same dude we knew before. For those of you who dont know, burning man is a huge DIY festival in the desert where everyone does heaps of mind bending drugs and they get naked and set fire to a large wooden effigy. Or something.

So the 4 of us all linked up in New York. We stayed on Waverly and Broadway, pretty muh on the NYU campus on the Lower East Side, just up from Soho. Great area, heaps of cool bars and resteraunts etc, not pricey, not pretentious.

Our apartment was meant to sleep 4 but instead it was a double bed and a small couch. 2 in the bed, 1 on the floor, 1 on the couch. No homo.

Hung out mostly around LES. I seriously want to move there, the area is amazing.

Took a train to brooklyn, met a girl on the train that was giving us directions. Conversation started off with her telling us what was good in brooklyn, to why ignorant people hate tattoos, to eventually telling us about how she liked to be suspended from her body piercings and "fucked up shit like that". So it is little surprise that taking her directions was a bad idea. We got off, as instructed at Dekalb station. 4 white dudes..
Well, 3 white dudes and dwight. Im going to have to back track here a little. Dwight likes to dress a little bit hip hop from time to time. Not usually a problem in "the hood" that is Perth, but put him on the streets of new york, rocking a shirt that says "DIRTY GHETTO KIDS" in massive letters, and you get some interesting responses from, you know, dudes that have actually spent time in the ghetto. The blacker you dress, the whiter you are. Fact.

Anyway, I digress. We get off at Dekalb, walk about 3 blocks and realise quickly that every single person there knows we are lost. Every store sold jewellery, fitted caps and nikes. We witnessed a bizzare car accident where a dude was arguing with the woman in the car behind him, he gets out to confront her, forgets his truck is set to reverse, and watches while his unmanned car crunches into hers. Shit was real.

But regardless of anything, nobody bothered us, we got a few harsh stares and a few laughs here and there, but we were sweet. If shit was to get real, im sure i could have explained how much i listen to NY hip hop and we would have been sweet...

We hit up a bunch of dive bars in Soho/Grenwich village. So many cool bars, just doors with no signs etc. $3 beers.

Heres some snaps so that you keep reading.

Ended up meeting some dude that ran a surf shop on the east side. He invited us out to a Volcom party and screening of their new snowboarding video. Jack mentioned on the way in that snowboarders are pretty much on the same level as rollerbladers.
The dude that ran volcom was there, as were a bunch of pro snowboarders. Had a few drinks, headed to the theatre that had a line around the block for people trying to get in to the screening. We were skipped to the front of the cue, got to see the first screening, and I managed to fall asleep within 2 or 3 minutes. Legit.

Linked up with Jacks mate Charlotte who is living in NYC with her bf. Her place is amazing, sweet apartment with an amazing rooftop where you can see pretty much all of the east river, the statue of liberty etc. Charlotte was dope, she showed us around a few cool bars. We ended up linking up with a bunch of her friends, playing pool and hanging out in their sweet apartment. Ended up getting a noise complaint and the NYPD rocked up and asked us to leave. Realised we were a few blocks from ground zero and it was 4am on September 11. Police were a little bit cautious..

Went to ground zero on sept 11. Not sure why, i mean, your in NYC, its september 11. We were going to check it out anyway, but it just sort of made sense to go on that day. Sort of wish i didnt. Thousands of people walking the streets, completely silent. No one was on a mic instructing the crowd to do anything, it was just eerie, people were just walking and not saying a word. Very un nerving. I literally couldnt fathom that there had been 2 buildings where we were standing. Shit is crazy.

Charlotte took us to Ameture Night at The Apollo. Definately one of the best nights I have had since being away. We cabbed it out to Harlem and took our seats, I had no idea what to expect. Basically, its a talent show that has been running for years. The crowd is encouraged to cheer or boo depending on the act. If the crowd boos enough, a dude runs out on stage and sweeps the act off. The night prestigious and lots of people have got their big break there, apparently james brown was discovered there.

Anyway, it was amazing. This is footage from the night. This dude was super entertaining. The crowd was divided, half boos and half cheers during the song, it looked like he was about to get swept off, so he just stopped singing and started dancing his ass off. He made it through the whole song and ended up coming 4th. Give me the greeennn liggggght.

A buck toothed bald woman won. In fairness, she probably put on the greatest peformance i have ever seen live.

Im getting way too indepth here, but yeah, I had a good time in NYC.

It was the last couple of days of fashion week when we got into New York. Heaps of stunning people everywhere. Some rapper tried to sell us a CD when we were walking down broadway. We declined. He got pissed. Yonny has flamboyant hair. Dude yells "Fashion Week's Over. Go Home." Golden.

Went to hundreds new store. Dope

Met up with Kim and Jess who are travelling from Perth. Went up the empire state building. It was tall. Tried to take them to brooklyn. Got lost. Ended up following Yonny around while he tried to buy shoes. All day.

Went to a comedy show in times square. Australians wouldnt stop talking in the corner. Everyone wanted to kill them. Dude from 30 Rock did some standup. I got called out by one of the comedians but came out unscathed. Good times.

So for all of these great tales of New York, it wasnt all roses. Below is a story of heartache. Read with tissues close.

JAY Z & EMINEM LIVE AT YANKEE STADIUM IN THE BRONX.

Like this wasn't going to be the best concert of the last 10 years. Jay Z in his home town, Eminems first tour since he stopped sucking. I have no doubt at all that this show will come out on DVD. A DVD that i will never watch, as i fear these wounds will never fully heal.

Me Dwight and Yonny decided that we were going to hit the show. It was on our last night in NYC and it seemed like a perfect end to our time there. Ticketmaster tickets were sold out, but there was a tonne of tickets on reseller sites (which are legit out here) like stepup etc. Unfortunately, through the reseller sites, you need to input the credit card billing address (the addy where your card is registered to) in with your credit card details, then they send the tickets to that address. I didnt want to risk the tickets getting posted back to Australia and us missing the show, so we decided to go with option b. Craigslist.

I have talked about craigslist before. I havent had a bad experience with it, but we went into this situation fully aware that there are con artists etc on the site.

We ended up hitting up a few people on there, there was hundreds of tickets available. In the end, we decided to buy 3 tickets for $150 each from one dude. He came and delivered the tickets to us, me and dwight looked closely at them before handing any money over. The tickets looked legit. I assume most of the people that read this know myself and the dudes I was travelling with. We arent chumps, the tickets looked completely real. Printed on legitimate ticketmaster stock, all the barcode ref numbers were different etc.

Anyway. Money is handed over, pleasantrys exchanged. Tickets aquired. We were still skeptical, but we were confident that the tickets were legit.

Fast forward to 2 days later.

We jump a train to the bronx. Cue up for nearly an hour with about 5000 people trying to get into one gate. Push, shove, go through metal detectors, hand tickets to the dudes that are frantically scanning....

"Where did you get these"

"Craigslist."

"You've been fucked. Go to customer service at gate 4"

Its a small conselation but the cue at customer service was around 400 people deep, and after a lot of cuing and chatting with other suckers, we realised that pretty much everyone had the same fake tickets. Someone made a killing, we didnt get to see the show. Shit is rough.

Just to turn the knife a little more, secret guests that came out at the show: Dr Dre, Chris Martin from Coldplay, 50 cent, Beyonce and Kanye West.

Fuck you New York. (I still love you)

We ended up heading to Times Square because Cudi was playing a free show for the Halo launch. Unfortunately there were about a thousand nerdy kids already cuing, not to see Cudi, but to get the game before their other mates, so we couldnt get in there either.

We ended up having an absolute bender night though. Jess and Kim came out and we met up with Charlotte, drank Four Loco (google this, 12.5% alc energy drink that tastes like petrol) and partied at Lit Lounge till about 5am. Me and dwight got an hours sleep and I caught my first ever drunk flight. NYC to SF. Never again.

p.s. yonny, dwight and jack, post your pics up, you slow motherfuckers.

xx

Thanks for coming.

2010-09-07T00:58:00.000-07:00

Bought a card reader on Hollywood bvd from a hustler dude that owned a variety store for $30. It was marked at $70 so he said it was a bargain. Its a great concept, if you own a store, just mark all your tshirts at $300 and then sell them for $40. Why has the world not caught onto this.

Went to Venice beach, I have spent a fair bit of time in LA and had never before made the trip. Amazing place, will be staying there next time Im out here i think. Such a stark contrast to the city. Santa Monica pier is pretty much the setting of a constant teen movie. Quite possibly the lamest place I have been to in my life.

Drove the wrong way down the Pacific Coast Highway and ended up driving all the way through malibu. Baller.

snappy.

Santa Monica Pier. Like the Wanneroo Markets by the beach occupied by fat people listening to the Dawsons Creek soundtrack.

Venice Beach. - Heaps of buff dudes, cliche people, arty types, crack heads and dogs wearing glasses.

On the way back we drove down Rodeo drive. Hoping to see beyonce.

No luck.

This is a photo of dwight in a cab.

Dwight nearly crashed the car. Completely his fault. He will maintain that the guy that he cut off on Fairfax was driving "like 200k's an hour maaan". This is not true. Dwight is just not good at driving. Someone twitter that.

Drove up into the hills with Kurt to see the LA view. Ended up near Griffith Park and couldnt find a park. There was a part of the hill that had a Do not enter sign, as we were in a rental I decided that it would be best if we ignored such requests. Up we went through the witches hats to find..... Free parking right at the enterance of Griffith Observatory. If you havent driven in LA this wont mean shit to you, but if you have, free parking next to a landmark is pretty much unheard of. I personally think everyone should stop obeying all laws.

Did a bunch of work and ended up going downstairs to the pool for "one drink" at like midnight. Met 3 black dudes and ended up rolling around hollywood in a white SUV listening to hardcore and talking shit. Casper and his crew were good people, i do believe we are now homeboys. Bitch.

update - im now finishing this post like a few days later.

Last time i was out here i met a good mate called Mike Tunney. He throws a bunch of partys down in the OC. He was throwing a weekender down by the beach called Pacific Fest. Ended up driving down with Luke and catching The Sounds, Steve Aoki and Chiddy Bang all play. Best time i have had in so long, good mates, free alcohol and crazy shows. Caught up with Steve and his girlfriend (fiance) Tiernon for the first time since Aus, saw Jacob get thrown into an involuntary crowd surf, ended up drunk in some random diner real talking with Dwight. Good times.

The Sounds

Jacob

Tunney

Everytime i get snapped on Cobrasnake i look like a fuckhead. - Me Luke and Dwight.

Ended up hitting Drais again and got love from the friends that be. Unfortunately some shitty androgenous nu wave band were also at the table and drank most of the bottle between re applying bowie-esque eye makeup. Met a dude with a terror shirt on, turned out to be one of Crafters Mates.

Ronnys photobooth. Im an unphotogenic asshole.

Still Drais: Dwight ended up pulling some girl who he fell in love with and she put conditioner allover my bathroom and trashed the mini bar. I returned home to find my hotel room trashed and no dwight. He ended up returning as the sun came up with stories of cock blocking friends and not going to Eve's house because he was thought to be a possible thief..

Anyway, he went on a date the next night and didn't return. Dude definately isnt into the whole "gentleman dont kiss and tell" ideal. I feel like i was pretty much there. And it isnt good.

Finished off my driving in LA experience by gunning it to LAX in our trusty gay hybrid. Thanks Prius. Its been real.

In NYC now, its amazing, but thats another post all together.

having the time of my life, thoughts are with mates back home.

miss you CH x

peace.

I bet he's Australian.

2010-09-02T01:51:00.000-07:00

whattup whattup whattup.

A lot of people hit me up after my last America trip in regards to this blog, saying that they really enjoyed reading it, or saying how it made them want to travel and that sort of thing. To be honest, i didnt really think that it was widely read, then again, if most of your lives are as boring as mine are when im in perth, the drunken typing of a travelling man is a welcome vacation from your office lives. With that being said, there is now pressure mounted on me to have a note worthy time out here, the sort of pressure I am not used to being under, therefore i fear that this blog may now suck. You ruined it by reading it. Anticipation is a bitch.

I havent got a card reader yet, i was hoping to pop up some snaps, but to be honest, you could probably just check back a few entries to the last couple of times i was in LA. Shit still looks the same, i have spent enough time here now to not be too inspired to take photos of everything. I did however get a new toy though, a Canon 40d off of craigslist for $600 US. Bargain. However, all of this shit you are going to see in this post is hipstamatic. Awww yeah.

Craigslist is the greatest thing in america. You can find literally anything on there, from Cameras, Apartments and crossdressing swinger couples to party locations and cambodian breast milks.

Anyway, im sort of just talking shit here so ill give you the lowdown on how things have been so far.

Dorcia Birthday party was mental, worked till about 4am then headed to Delby and Rach's place to pick up some sleeping drugs to ease the pain of flying internationally while 6"6 with anger management issues. Check this shit out

Unfortunately I left the pills on the counter and was forced to fly unarmed by pharmecudicals. Asshole.

bye.

So i went to sydney for a day/night, caught up with my sister and hit up a club called Fake. Was pretty large, i was pretty boring. Thanks Sydney.

fireworks are hard to photograph

fail.

Ended up buying some sleeping pills from the airport that made me feel like i was mentally retarded, i opted to continue taking them till i was passed out as there was some demonic child screaming (like really really screaming) for the whole flight. I think i crashed out for most of it. Oh Ironman 2 sucks.

Got into LA and checked into the Roosevelt, bumped into Jake Brown and Andrea in the lobby, unfortunately we were checking in and they were checking out so we didnt get to hang out, but it was cool to see friends on the other side of the world.

Hit up the new Dimmak night Cannonball at a club called Drais. Drais is the pool area on the top of the W complex in Hollywood. Place is ridiculous, caught up with all of my good mates on the first night, realised how much i missed bottle service at clubs, remembered how much LA kicks ass over perth.

Hit up a bunch of stores on Fairfax / Melrose. Place is still a bit gross by day, but Im glad to be back.

Funny shit that has happened so far.

Dwight sleeps like 90% of the day. He wears a beanie like he is about to go to a hipster fashion parade (I cant hate on this cos so do I most of the time, but not while im sleeping) and looks like he is retarded. He doesnt snore though so thats a win.

Luke now parties, every other time I have been here I have been trying to guilt him into coming out, this time he is hitting me up daily to rage. Quality.

One of the dudes at the Hundreds store decided he wanted dwights HAL cap so he swapped it for a Hundreds one.

Hundreds store is dope.

HUF store was 50% off. Bonus.

Went out to Cinespace on tuesday night and got horrendously drunk. Don't remember getting home, slept till 3pm then threw up. So classy.

Mike Giant and Sheppard Fairy (Obey) have done a big collab piece on the wall of Barracuda LA. Very cool. The girl that works there is a bitch though.

Getting a massive tattoo on your arm then flying across the country is setting yourself up for discomfort.

I miss my girlfriend. Its been a long time since i have been away from home and had someone to miss. Its cool. She is a school teacher.

We rented a car so that we could go and check some cool spots out. I have managed to not really drive in LA at all up until this point. We went and picked up Jacob from Steves place the other night and i decided to take on Laurel Canyon Bvd. Win. I pretty much own the roads out here now.

There are so many radio stations here but for some reason the only english speaking station we could find was KROQ, which is pretty much nu metal radio. Sitting in traffic on Hollywood bvd, listening to Pappa Roach's - Cut my life into pieces, driving a Hybrid Toyota Priess makes us pretty much the whitest guys alive.

Im gunna buy a card reader tomorrow and tell more stories.

Oh hang on, went to the Roosevelt pool bar last night with Luke and Jacob etc and John Mayer was standing next to us with a bunch of Australian girls that thought they were the shit. You know when you automatically know that someone is a dick? That is the overwhelming feeling i got about the girls that were almost definately hours away from an easy listening soft rock gang bang. John seemed alright though. That fat kid with glasses from "Sex Drive" was there too. It does sound like a strange dream, but it wasn't. They were in the burger joint later too, I am really looking for a place to drop a "your body is a wonderland" reference here. Its not going to happen.

Dwight saw jake gylenhall. He was so siked on seeing john mayer too, like giddy, like a school girl.

The elevators at the Roosevelt are strange. No joke, i would say that about 90% of the people i have had a conversation with in the elevator have been australian. Even celebrities like wolfmother singer and darren hayes last time i was here. So to illustrate this point, we were all in the elevator the other night and 2 people got in, I said that they were probably Aussies, and you guessed it, they were. Great story i know.. However, later that night, there is 5 of us in the elevator heading up to the room and some random guy gets in. Dwight says "I bet your australian" as a joke, the dude is english and is lamely offended. He starts talking all tough, then the doors open and it is his floor. The dude is acting like a tool, and he finally exits the elevator. He stands at the door and says sarcastically "have a great night". In the most perfectly timed childish insult of all time, just as the doors were about to close, I requested that he felate me, he made a grasp for the doors, but it was too late. Sadly, this was the funniest thing i have done in quite some time.

Theres heaps more but i doubt you read this much.

night night.

Leaving home.

2010-08-20T21:33:00.000-07:00

There seems to be a reoccurring theme to this blog.

Next Sat I fly back to LA for a month. Well, America at least. Dwight is coming with me, I will try and have him remove the shitty names he puts in between his first and surname on facebook. Plan is to Hit LA for a week or so, then NYC, SF and Vegas (not my choice.)

Hopefully we will be meeting up with this adonis in New York

I went to Bali a few months back but i don't really class it as "overseas" because it is pretty much just an island extension of the Aberdeen Hotel.

I'll probably post in this when I'm away.

Mintox.

India, I don't have a clever pun.

2010-03-13T04:09:00.000-08:00

So the time has come again where i depart Perth and grace the pages of this self indulgent interweb journal.

I got a call a week or so ago from Seb (Valyside) asking if i wanted to go to india to oversee the production of the range he is producing over there. Why not. Free international trips usually bring with them a whole lot of entertainment, well, at least more than Perth is serving up these days.

So off i bail to India, i have never really considered travelling there before, but, these opportunities come up and you take them i suppose.

Im sitting in singapore airport at the moment waiting to board the flight to chanai.

NOT ANYMORE. I never finished the last post so fuck it. read on.

So we arrived in Chanai (India) pretty late on. Place is an absolute shithole. I have never been to a dirtier place in my life. Shit is humid as hell and there are mosquitos that could eat your head.

We rock up to the Mount Manor to crash before heading to Combatore the next day. This hotel was amazing. There was blood on my sheets, the bathroom was pretty mich black. I actually wrapped a shirt around my pillow because i was scared of what i might catch from the bed. Mental. This is quite the contrast to my last trip with Valyside. Ah well, carpe diem, such is life, or whatever saying you can think of that is tattoo'd on a douchebags guts.

We bounced from Chanai to hop a flight to combatore early the next morning. Managed to hook up flights with Spice Air, was real cool, we were the only crackers on the plane and everyone was sort of tripping out, The air hostess was nice enough to kick some dudes out of the emergency exit seats to let us sit, mainly because i am huge and a general seat on a plane just doesnt work.

We get to our new accom in Combatore and are met by Vijay, our contact out here that we met in Vegas. Dude looks legit like an indian Denzel Washington. We went and checked out the factory.

Now i was paranoid, like actually having trouble sleeping that I was going to rock up here and be slave driving child workers to create shirts i had designed. It didnt sit well with me, you design shit on the other side of the world, it gets printed, it passes through a lot of hands; you never really feel like you are part of the problem. When you are hanging in india, overseeing production of said designs, you pretty much are the hand that beats the poor to the ground. You are the man. Not in the "man, you the man!" sort of way, moreso in a "damn the man" sort of way. In where you are the man. Negative. Get it?

Anyway, i couldnt be happier with how it is run here. Everyone working is over 18 years old, and they are incredibly happy. Working in a cotton mill and cutting plant is actually considered a good job out here. They get reasonable work hours and almost all of the 30 or so people working here ride motorbikes to work everyday. Since being here i have met a bunch of really happy and curious indian people who totally trip out to see 2 australians with tattoos.

So I still have a bit of an issue about being a self involved prick for keeping a blog, but if you have read this far you must be somewhat interested.

But for those of you having trouble following, here are some visuals.

I have never been to a poor country. Never. I have done parts of Europe, UK, America, HK etc. It is fucking crazy here. 100%.
Mainly for the following reasons.

a) There are no road rules here. Not like, drive as fast as you want and do burnouts, more like; no correct side of the road, no lanes, no speed limit, no right of way. At all. You just gun it, weave through oncoming traffic at 100km an hour + and hope you don't die. It is undescribable. I was rolling with Vijay yesterday and noticed that everyone is pretty on it as far as driving is concerned. I had seen no accidents etc. The roads are packed with bulls carrying trailers, motorbikes carrying 6 people, huge colorful trucks and new model suzuki cars. Vijay filled me in on somethign that made a lot of sense but was contradictory to what i had witnessed thus far. The road toll for India in a calender year sits at around 200,000.

b) Bulls. There are bulls, with painted horns. Chilled the fuck out, everywhere. Just hanging on the side of the road. Im from australia, i dont know much about bulls but generally i would think that if you were walking down the street and there was a giant bull with red horns in your path you would pretty much bail. Wrong. I was told in great detail how these bulls have their balls removed at a young age with 2 pieces of wood. This way they just become big chilled out cows with horns that are good at carrying shit from point a to point b.

c) This place is dirty as shit. Like the whole place looks like a slum, there is rubbish like a tip on the side of all the roads, yet there are Vodafone and Sony stores pretty much everywhere, in huts and shit.

d) It is just mental. So many contradictions. Really strange though, there are not really any homeless people. I have been told that the standard of living has lifted here in the last decade and almost everyone now carries a mobile phone and can afford to drive a 2 wheeler.

more snaps

These were the screenprint dudes kids, really funny, the were trading WWE cards and fighting over coke..

so that is the end of my dot points.

Pretty tired but i will sum up a few things that have outlined why this week has been mental..

We are pretty much the only white people here. Anywhere, are there are a lot of people. They are incredibly friendly but there is a lot of stopping and staring.

Qantas air staff must have got a memo telling them that it is new company policy to be incredibly rude to people and totally talk down to them at all times. Seb stood up to go to the toiled mid flight and a woman literally yelled from halfway down the plane "SIt down now, the light is onnnn". Fuck you manwoman. You are far to masculine to be an air hostess.

Oh also, there seem to be more dudes serving food on planes than women now. Siked if you swing that way.

There is a rain forest with koi fish in a pond at singapore airport and cigarettes are like $1 a packet. Purchased.

Food here is fucked. I had a few beers and ate a bunch of variations of chicken with Vijay and seb on the second night. I woke up in the morning and spewed about 4 times. I was so angry about the situation that you could hear me ranting about how off it i was while i was spewing in the sink. Being sick sucks. I took some anti sick pills and got better. Thanks science.

I drank coconut juice out of a coconut. From the tree out the front of the factory. Delish.

Im going to be home on thursday now instead of sat cos we got shit done.

Vijay is probably the kindest human i have ever come across. Ever. He drove me an hour just so i could eat dominos pizza and not have to spew from shit chicken again.

Apparently there was a terrorist attack today in india and people died. Lets hope that death toll can stay where it is till i get home and get to hear about it on CNN.

Nivea for men is like $1 here. Im goign to buy a lifetime supply of facewash.

Im done.

Peace.

last christmas.

2009-10-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

been reading through my old myspace messages tonight cos im bored.

just before i left i posted this. I dont even remember writing it but it sums up exactly where I was before I bailed out for a while.

pretty huge contrast to now.

2009 for the win.

From: scott
Date: 08 Dec 2008, 10:12 PM

the first interpol record is so good.

revisiting and enjoying.

im outtie soon.

not going to have a going away party because i might come back and then everyone will be off it. Sort of like having an engagement party then calling off the wedding and everyone wants their gifts back but wont ask for them.

Work is crazy busy at the moment, trying to get everything done before i depart. Will still be working for australian clients etc from the states. its called email. technology eh?

Kind of leaving a fair bit behind but I think it will be good for me. America for however long, then Europe, then either home and back to america, home and back to europe, home and back to normal or back to america forever.

whoooo knows.

Apparently Hollywood is really dirty. I dont really care. It seems to be the place to be, theres a lot going on and a lot to do so i think ill be fine. Pretty sure I wont get shot, but again, who knows.

Kind of tacked europe on the end of the trip but im actually looking forward to it a lot more now that I have been thinking about it. I think Ill stay in Cali for 6 months ish then go and chill in europe for a while. Decide what I want to do from there.

This year has been a fucking rollercoaster. You get to the end of the year and you sort of look back on what has happened. I can tell you without a doubt in my mind that this one has been the most intense. Life gets pretty testing at times and I suppose yuou never know who you really are until your put in proper life changing situations. Im happy with how things are progressing now and i am ridiculously grateful for being allowed to do some of the things I have been able to do.

The years preceeding this really do pale in comparison. I would have to say that they have definately been better, but i am beginning to realise that life is totally unpredictable. You can be coasting one second and the walls are falling down the next. All I can really take away from this year is to hold those closest to you the tightest, and keep your eyes open, theres a million other peoples worlds going on around you, being self absorbed is a lonely existance. I got to know people close to me better than I ever have this year and I would trade that for nothing.

This is a pretty cliched blog type thing but im not really too bothered. If you read it then awesome. If not then your not reading this right now. So you dont really apply.

To all the important people in my life, I hope you know how important you are to me. Everyone keep moving because i dont know too many of you that have had a smooth sailing year. Shit might not get better, there may not be any great white hope, but we all have eachother, and at the worst of times, thats all we need. At the best of times, we dont write blogs about this sort of shit. We just talk about how good an old record is.

happy endish of the year,

better late than trevor.

2009-10-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

ok so anyway i bailed LA with seb and stevedave after a lot of partying in LA. Shit was mental. I started writing this last post and it read like this

"Last few days in LA were pretty hectic, tried to get in as much pool time as possible before flying home. Met some rad people on the Saturday (I think) poolside. Dude that was throwing one of the partys was about 45, shirtless, overweight and had a cane. Apparently he is "the man" but he actually just looked like another coked out hollywood doosh.

Anyway, water, sun all that. Not a huge amount to report. Im thinking about throwing some summer pool partys in Australia, I had some of the best times on this trip just hanging poolside. Not sure if Australia is down with drinking next to the water though. We shall see."

See i did have every intention of actually writing it at the time. ah well.

I have been away for so much of this year so im pretty glad to be home., i have decided to buy a new bed and try and actually spend some time in it. This means scott will be in perth man, so theres not going to be much scribing in the interweb journal. I am hugely against 'feeling blogs' or being self righeous enough to think that people give a shit about my day to day. Plus, I find myself in interesting situations when im not, you know, in my apartment, going to work etc. Cool shit does happen but if its really that important ill tell you about it in person.

I flew back from LAX to Melbourne, bumped into Cam in the line for my flight, was pretty random. Good dude, we were going to intercom eachother on the plane but.. well theres a story to this. I recently found out my mum somehow obtained the address to this blog so, if your reading this, mum, im sorry but i am an adult and I go alright. Read Below.

So I was hanging around the pool halfway through my trip with Jake and Brandon and co and they were mates with a couple of rappers. Dudes were rad, one of them looked like Busta Rhymes. All became mates and I gave one of them a cigarette, he was siked and pulled out a bag of pills. He offered me and Im not big on the party drugs thing so i declined, then he took a purple one out of the bag and said it was valium.

Yeh this sounds like a story they tell you at a school assembly and shit but it worked out for the best.

Anway, i had it in my wallet for the rest of the trip and remembered that i had it the day we were flying out. Kurt and myself did a bit of research on the internet and corresponded the numbers on the pill and the colour in a medical dictionary. Turned out to be Viagra. Just kidding. It was something with a "pan" on the end that basically meant it was a sedative, it didnt have any huge warnings so i though i would test it out on the plane.

So i get on the plane and im chilling out ready for my 16 hour haul to australia, just after we take off i swallow my little purple travel partner and hope i dont heath ledger on the plane (too soon?). After about 15 minutes i find myself touching my palms a lot and becoming intrigued by the lightswitch in the seat. Steve Dave thinks this is hilarious..

I crash out for around 14 hours and wake up fresh as the morning.

Sooo. flights over 15 hours from now on will require a trip to the GP beforehand because that shit was practically time travel.

Long story, and rather pointless.

Regardless, landed in melbs, got picked up by danny and delbs.

these are the faces that greeted me upon my arrival back in the land of the convicts.

and of course the taker of above photo

So anyway, we get in, hang out, eat lunch. Do all the standard shit. Then I decide to crash out, get ready for the dorcia launch the next night etc.

Everyone else thought it would be a good idea to go to a strip club for rachis bday. Now I love rach, but i was fucking hammered, so i passed. Im usually up for the party, on this occasion, i took the smart option.

My friends are so understanding.

anyway, had dorcia melbs, it was rad, heaps of mates, heaps of fun, lots of people. Me and yon played out first melb shows ever. Shit was rad.

Stuck around in Melbs for the Bronx on Sunday.

Hung out in Melb town.

beat yon at bball

I gave all these tickets to a tiny kid. he was scared of me but i think he was siked after i left and he realised he had more tickets than a young jesus.

Saw a couple of DJs called Gilsun and Naysayer. Kids were dooope. Mashup warriors.

Saw the bronx. I ended up looking like this;

sweatty and retarded.

gave emma an involuntary piggy back. we look like we are embarking on an adventure.

then she creepily checked out my ass.

creeeeeep!

anyway, bronx were rad. LA was rad, Melb was rad.

Ill write more soon cos i went back to melb this weekend with ben and shit was epic.

watch this space.

this time last year the world was upside down. I think its come level a bit.

oh and watch this. Oldie but a goodie.

Tea Pain.

2009-09-06T22:40:00.000-07:00

i cant be assed writing much but shit loads has happened.

Ill condense it cos i know most of my friends are partially retarded and have trouble grasping the Shakespearian like tales that I wind here.

Im in Vegas and it is a beast. Lots of working going on and lots of partying. Magic was dope, made a stupid ammount of contacts and inroads for Valyside aswell as making some good friends.

Heaps of gangsters at Magic though, like heeeappps. Streetwear is the new ghetto fad, so many latino / black / white gangster dudes just lurking around with gang tats and face tatts and shit. We were next to the Joker booth and near Famous and a bunch of other street labels. At one point Busta Rhymes, the Yin Yang twins and Soulja boi were all there with a stack of ghetto fans and cameras and shit, like 400 people and 3 cops just shitting themselves. I was the white dude in the corner.

this guy so doesnt score.

Ended up talking hip hop with this black dude i became hell bro's with. We did handshakes and talked about heaps of shit. I was so on the level. Pretty sure i can hip hop talk my way out of getting balled up here. Will try if the situation arises.

Hung out with a Cubano guy from Miami called Hugo. Dude sounded exactly like scarface. Best times

Partied at the Playboy club at the palms on the first night with Kurt. Place is retarded, soooo many hookers, it is acutally mind blowing. No i didnt.

Next night I hit up MGM grand with Dim Mak mates and scored a private booth and a bottle. Got totally wasted and ate breakfast at like 4am with kurt, caveman style, sitting in a diner grunting, laughing and throwing shit at eachother.

Hit Playboy again the next night with Seb and the crew, saw Classix and NASA play. Was dope. Experienced something i will never forget at the playboy club actually. I am here with Steve an Seb. Steve is a professional Motocross rider and all round nice dude. The sort of moto guy that has no tatts, heaps of dad jokes and a fiance. He's the moto guy you would take home to meet mum and dad. However, Steve has an alter ego. I have come to know this alter ego as Dave. Dave tends to arrive on the scene after about half a bottle of vodka. Anyways, Steve turned into Dave at the Playboy Club. Dude is poking me, giving me little punches, heaps of annoying gay shit, I wasnt very drunk so i was all like "Steve, chill man, stop touching me". I used this line a good 8-12 times in the space of 2 hours. Stevedave starts getting worse and worse the drunker he gets. Calling me heaps of gay shit and laughing, and eventually moves to pinching my cheeks and calling me babyface (I had shaved like an hour before and looked like a large child). I gave him a few more warnings and he didnt cease. So as he was drunkenly looking around the room with Sebs sunglasses on, i leaned in slowly, got nice and close and... BAM. The biggest face slap i have ever dealt. Dudes head pretty much bounced off the table, knocking the sunnies clear off his face. Think Rick James v s Charlie Murphy style.

Steve to this day maintains that he has no recollection of the above events. Hence his alter ego. Dave.

so much for short sentences.

Seb went to dinner with the owners of the Palms Hotel in Vegas and heaps of pro skaters and shit. I did not. Spewin

anyways, ended up VIP at Rain for the Famous party. Hung out with Jake brown again and his crew, really good dudes, free vodka, Jazzy Jeff on the decks. Rager.

Ended up hangin in vegas for a couple of days after magic. Got super loose, hit a strip club, partied till death.

Blackjack is better at taking my money than I am at taking its.

Got back into LA and hit the pool pretty much straight away. Weather is so good here. Saw some DJ kill it by the pool. Partied with the best looking girls i have ever seen. Unfortunately I am not rich.

Saw Ian Ziering again. Crazy shit. Feel like im on 90210 the early years.

Went for dinner last night and sat next to Tom Morello. FIrst time I have actually been star struck. I just sort of stood there with my mouth open staring at him while he ate. He didnt say shit but im pretty sure we had a connection. Made me want to go out on the street and set some shit on fire, free the oppressed, oppose political leaders etc. He was no shit wearing exactly this hat and shirt

Shared an elevator with Darren Hayes yesterday. Didnt recognise him but steve did from all the posters he has on his wall at home. Like this one.

Went to the Sneaktip birthday party in beverly hills. Scored so much free vodka since i have got here. Thanks belvedere. Watched kurt get super drunk. Best drunk dude ever. He hissed at some drunk girls at maccas.

Hung by the pool all day today and chilled out. Home soon, gunna enjoy this while i can.

We trashed the hotel room so badly last time we were at the Roosevelyt that this time round they have stopped giving us complimentary MM's. I miss them. They completed me.

Saw Hamish and Andy on the street last night filming their caravan of courage thing. Steve was smashed and talked to them, i talked to their tour manager. Guy was a fucking doosh.

Steve turned into Dave again and threw my cigarettes at some random dude by the pool last night. Good one.

Seb smokes more weed than god.

The sun is mightier than the scott.

So many jock dudes by the pool with ripped bodies and shit tattoos. Makes me want to throw a toaster in the water. Lots of fake football throwing going on and flexing looks into the distance.

I got nothing else to add to this.

remember,

last thing i need is some girl pissing in my hallway.

peace.

ends.

2009-09-02T19:58:00.000-07:00

Realising that your getting older is pretty bitter sweet. When you are younger every door is open, and as time passes more and more of those doors close. So today i had to watch one close, abruptly and without warning. The contrast in my life at the moment is fucking monumental, i can only imagine yours. x

how did the beverly hills 90210 theme song go?

2009-08-29T22:14:00.001-07:00

i fought the sun and the sun won. It would appear i do infact have human skin, not inpenetrable leather like I had stated to one Steve Sommerfeld. Peeling shoulders. Not siked about it at all.

Got everything we needed sussed for Magic on time, smiles all round, now its time to sell.

I have now been living at the Roosevelt for 2 weeks. After a good 14 days of passing the door that states "Do Not Enter" curiousity got the better of me and I entered. No Alarm. All good so far. So i followed the stairs up to the penthouse level and out onto the roof of the hotel. Best decision I have made so far. Got told off by hotel staff after about 3 minutes but it was enough to snap a few pics. You get the best views from rooftops and 90% of buildings in this country have a rooftop area.

Heading to vegas tomorrow, we got a Nissan SUV for the trip. I drove around hollywood yesterday and Im still alive. Siked.

Down at a pool party downstairs the other night and saw Ian Ziering. dude has the best name, didnt speak to him, didnt really have anything to say.

Fell in love with a girl by the pool the other night, from a distance like a creep. Then she kissed a girl. Not in a "wow those girls are kissing for attention, i need to suss if this is hot or tragic" sort of way, in a full blown "Im a lesbian and I have no interest in you whatsoever because you are a man" sort of way. The girl she kissed was a full masculine chick too. So bummed out, we would have had a wonderful life together.

Went into Kinko's print shop the other day to print off a bunch of flyers for Valyside. Saw Nik Olivieri or whatever his name is, the dude that used to play bass in Queens of the Stone Age. Seems even demon rock dudes need to photocopy too.

Oh there was a chick with a white top and no bra on there too, situations like that really make u realise that you can be anyone in the world, you can have achieved anything, it doesnt matter who you are or what you do, at the end of the day you are a dude and the aforementioned situation is at least a little bit awesome.

Dj Lethal walked passed us on Hollywood Bvd yesterday, he was in Limp Bizkit. I wish i didnt recognise losers.

Also yesterday i got in a cab with those big obnoxious sunnies I have, the asian driver dude thought I was famous and insisted that I sign an autograph. All The Best, Scott Mellor...

Gem said that my last big post made me sound like i though i was a sick cunt. I dont, thats just a run down of what went down. Gem once got T Boned by a smart car. That is not a sexual reference.

Went out on Wed and saw MIA play a secret party show downtown, dont know if i mentioned that last time. Was pretty dope but there was some shit going on and everything ran super late then she came out and did like 5 songs. There are so many scene photographers around now, its actually mental, I got in there before doors opened and all the "press dudes" were already there. Cobrasnake wannabes everywhere.. Hipsterfest. Maybe im just jaded that no one snaps me.

Caught up with Luke and Joanna last night, shit was rad, so good to see good friends again. They are bailing to Hawaii next week to avoid me.

Last time I was here i started seeing a girl called Jennifer, I sort of kept it out of here cos it was none of your business. Randomly caught up with her today by the pool. She has a new boyfriend and shit and she is pretty rad. Met a bunch of her friends, again, everyone is so nice to me here its almost a joke. Anyway, I ate lobster, drank beer, smoked cigarettes and chilled out, again, good people, good times.

Started reading rules of attraction, books better than the movie. Standard.

So many pretentious tards hang at the roosevelt pool. I saw a guy today with rosery beads tattood around his neck and down his chest. WINNER.

got a polaroid camera, trying to find film.

discovered baja fresh.

oh yeh, i was at the bar downstairs the other night, the same night i saw television's Ian Ziering actually, and this dooshbag guy pushed infront of me at the bar as i was patiently waiting to purchase a beverage. I was pretty off it but let it slide. Karma had other plans. Karma doesnt let shit slide. The dude grabbed his drinks, turned around and walked straight into a poolside bed that hit him at about shin height. Faceplant, 2 drinks in hand totally emptied, lots of people pointing and laughing. Think about that next time you push infront of someone in line. Your going to end up at the dentist. asshole.

been listening to the last song on the new cage album. its dope

i got nothing else to add.

till next time.

rip to DJ AM.

rip.

2009-08-29T00:48:00.001-07:00

Really sad news today, my thoughts are with all that were close to AM. Was fortunate enough to have met him on a few occasions in Hollywood and caught him spinning the night we arrived back in LA. Peace out mate.

sun dried mellors

2009-08-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

Hollywood is some crazy shit. Im sure you gathered this by now but it amazes me daily.

Its summer here at the moment and it is hot as a motherfucker. Thats hot.

Fortunately we are staying at the Roosevelt and the pool is amazing so there is a lot of work being done and a lot of breaks being taken down by the pool.

The greatest thing about this place is that shit can change in a second. I have tried to explain this to people a bunch of times but i think the following is the best example. We go down and hang poolside on sunday morning, not expecting much, couple of drinks, swim, standard.

I get in the elevator with the singer from wolfmother. Nice dude, super nervous, just chatted to him about how many australians were staying in the hotel.

+

Get downstairs and hit the pool. After about 5 minutes some ratty looking aussie dude asks me for a lighter. We get talking, turns out its Jake Brown. He just won gold at the X games, you probably have seen this before.

Dude is totally cool, we join tables and end up hanging out with a whose who of pro skateboarding over the next few days/nights. Brandon Biebel, Mike Carrol, Pat Duffy, Jake Brown. Jake won pretty big in vegas last week and decided to celebrate by throwing $300 worth of 1 dollar bills into the hotel pool, some rapper dudes were talking about how he "made it rain"

Our room has become the party room, people coming up and just raging every night, again, the best thing about this place is how random and awesome it can turn in a second. Brandon came up last night with a few mates, one was a TV host for fuel TV, the other was Nick who runs Diamond Supply co. We are all hooking up in Vegas next week as everyone is out there for magic. Shit is going to be parttty.

Yesterday we were hanging by the pool and that dude that was in crazy town was swimming with his daughter. Dude is a total joke but he was nice enough. He was on some rehab show, i cant think what it was called but im pretty sure it was along the lines of "my shit nu metal band sucked and now i smoke heaps of crack and need to make a living by exploiting my habit on VH1"

Ron Jeremy was there too. Good Job

Met 2 loose dudes from Reno who had been shooting a commercial with Pat and Jake. Dudes were fucking ragers, i think one of them broke one of sebs ribs.

Roosevelt hotel staff are cleaning geniuses. This place has been so trashed its retarded and every day we come back to a spotless room.

Went wakeboarding today on a lake just norht of hollywood with my good friend jeff. Now im totally fucking sunburnt. But i will come home with a tan. win.

Fortunately the hotel has a gym so i get to drink and eat whatever then run 3 miles a day and not come home a fat tard.

This hotel is haunted, the elevator stops on level 5 and 7 even if the button hasnt been pressed, aparently people died on those levels. Sucks to be a ghost man, still having to take elevators and shit. Surely you would want some rad ghost powers to be able to transfer between levels of a hotel. Fuck the afterlife.

We had a partyy up here the other night and a couple of Daryls friends came up in the elevator. Some black dude was sharing the elevator with the 2 girls and had his erect penis out. The girls werent siked, the dude was half passed out. Pretty funny though, he got in the elevator at like the 5th floor and went up to 8 with his dick out. You gotta wonder if he was such a super player that he just finished up on level 5 and was off to visit such a sure thing on 8 that he thought it wasnt worth tucking that shit back in. Manly.

Jared Leto was partying in the lobby the other night. I really wish i had met him cos i wanted to tell him that i loved his band Gone in 60 seconds.

Did i mention how sunburnt i am. I have no elasticity in my skin right now, as my fingers move i can feel my shoulder skin reacting. not good.

I did the new logo for Dim Mak's Banan Split Sundaes night the other day. Will post soon, computer is being a gay.

Met a snowboarder called Dingo that runs an apparel line called Grenade, hell good dude. Dude partys harder than amy winehouse.

Oh heres a story. Hollywood fucking sucks on a sat night, especially if your rolling 4 dudes deep without any girls. We tried to hit a few clubs but no dice. So we are walking back to the hotel and there are 3 homeboys infront of us, one on a skateboard. He sort of looked like Cody Chestnut. Anyway, the dude skated about as good as me so he fell off the front of his board and it came rolling back into us. Jurt kicked it rolling back to his feet. THe dude gets in Kurts face about kicking his board. Kurt says he was giving it back, shit gets tense, everyone continues walking. They keep looking back and we just keep walking behind sort of cautiously. one guy lifts the back of his shirt a bit to scratch and he has a pistol in the back of his pants. We cross the road. Thats not being a pussy, thats called life preservation. We aint goin out like that.

Street meat is amazing. Hot dogs of questionable expiry date cooked by non english speaking man on side of street after midnight. Its like the russian roulette of fast food.

My brother has a mo. Webcam tells me this.

Kate has swine flu, and is generally mental.

Kef is now on msn. add her here domefrombehind69@hotmail.com

Seb is addicted to in n out burger. If he doesnt have it he scratches like a crak head.

the girl on the door for the club downstairs could get aids and i would be happy.

im home in a couple of weeks, shit is crazy and we arent even in vegas yet.

come party at dorcia in melbourne on sept 11. I will be.

party most of the time.

Poolside at the hotel, poolside at the hotel..

2009-08-18T02:49:00.001-07:00

Back, back, back in Los Angeles.

Flight delayed from Perth, ended up rocking out an hour and a half late. Heaps of "crazy" drunk aussies in the domestic terminal bar, managed to witness a shit indian aussie girl claiming that the asian bar tender was a racist cos he wouldnt serve her drunk ass. Its not cos your black you deadshit, its because you are an abnoxious drunken 18 year old.

Flight nearly crashed on takeoff. No shit. Got told off for playing bowling on my iphone. Flight attendants hate me for some reason. Ask anyone. Im hell nice too.

Got into melbourne and crashed out in the Hyatt Grand. Place was pimped out hard. Seb Valyside is footing the bill for this trip and he has come through, haarrd.

Caught up with an internet celebrity called Kate, you probably know her. She blogs about everything that happens in her life. Yes im a hypocrite. She also bleeds from the neck and has a spider that lives in her hair. We got drunk and hung out and talked heaps of shit. Was rather good. Highlite was definately the following.

Kate goes to the toilet in some scumbag melb bar. Seb and Myself sit at the table downstairs drinking. 2 absolute winner dudes come and sit uninvited at our table. "Dunno about you goiys but im ready to root." I told him that we really werent interested in rooting him. He explained that he had a hard on and was siked on "tits".
Kate returns, and shit gets awesome. She goes to the bar and the guy turns to me and says, and i quote "Is that ya missus?" "Do ya mind if i fuck her while your away?"

Thanks Melbourne.

Everyone thinks that danny and seb are drug dealers while in Melb. "Ya got any pingers broo?" "Any dingos mate?"

Notice how I never had a brother up untill a few years ago. Below is photo evidance of why that is. He was sort of born old. The curious case of daniel mellor.

Flight to LA was pretty dope, just slept the whole time. Had to run like a demon through syd airport, nearly missed my flight cos of duty free.

Checked in to the Roosevelt Hotel around lunch. Place is ay may zing. Whis will be my home for the next few weeks and i couldnt be happier. Maralyn Monro died at this hotel. Thats not cool cos she's dead, but its sort of cool. You know.

Caught up with Kurt and Brook and lots of LA mates. Siked to be back

A crackhead black dude raised his fist to seb in the lobby of the hotel. You know how you call dudes crack heads in australia, this guy actually smoked crack. Properly. Shit was pretty real.

I quit smoking but im having a haitus at the moment. Parlaiments are just great.

Went to Bardot last night to catch up with dim mak mates. Everyone was out, great times, Aoki, Dj AM and Nick Catchdubs spinning. Rad night.

Oh its summer here, glad im not in perth.

welcome back.

more soon.

girls read twilight with one hand

2009-08-08T20:20:00.000-07:00

7 days till.

i should really start getting some money together.

goin goin, back back, to cali cali

2009-07-12T09:50:00.000-07:00

So my life has been pretty full on since i got back to Perth, just with lots of really dull evenings sitting on my couch trying to deal with solitude. Not in a 'oh im so lonely' way, moreso in a "why the fuck did danny and keith cancel my foxtel package and leave me with 4 channels while i was away" way.

I know i said i wouldnt update this shit because I am back in Perth, however the following information directly pertains to plans of scott not being in perth man.

Heading back to California on August 16 for a month. Cannot wait to get back out there and see good friends and party like a demon. Isnt all fun and games though, the trip is business as we are taking Valyside clothing out to Vegas to introduce them to the American market. Got a stall at magic next to Travis Barkers FSAF label.

Hit Magic last time I was in Vegas and it was eeeepiiic. Apparently is the biggest weekend of the year in Vegas.

Heading back to Aus on Sept 10 just in time for the launch of Dorcia Melbourne on the 11th.

shit is going to be reeeeallll.

looking forward to seeing certain melbournites too...

recent things that have taken up my time.

in no particular order

fuckin done son.

2009-05-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

times up.

back in perth, really dont know how i feel about it to be honest.

Hit Hong Kong on the way home for a night. Place is rad, rain with heat, lots of markets, totally entertaining.

So all in all Europe was pretty dope. Dont really think the whole backpacker thing is for me though. LA was fucking amazing and I think im going to get back there relatively soon, gunna suss a visa and play things out back here for a while.

SO basically this blog is dead. The title nullifies its existance as scott "is" in perth man. Go figure.

might put something up when i leave this place again.

peace.

Heathrow

2009-05-19T07:18:00.001-07:00

fucking sucks.

7 hours waiting for a flight to Hong Kong. Internerd access is sweet though. Cannes was dope, will post about it when i can be assed.

highlight of southern france.

Fake Rich Movie Investor (trying to impress charlie) "im actually learning polo at the moment"

half drunk scott "what are you training to be a gay?"

yeh. im hell funny.

wu tang clan e col cazzo ci fotti

2009-05-17T05:11:00.000-07:00

Amsterdam -

got in solo late on wed night, bought some weed, put a hoody on and strolled around the red light district. Place is retarded, thousands of dudes pave the streets picking out girls. I recon the hookers in the windows go through about 3 dudes an hour. Lots of old Colonial Sanders looking motherfuckers ducking in and out of small red lit rooms. I actually followed this 70 year old guy for about 40 minutes and he legit pumped 2 hookers in that period. Life didnt really go as planned for old man i spose.

abosolute mellor

dildo fest

lier

dutch columbus

anyways, amsterdams red light district is as you woul expect. weed, hookers and drunken tourists. Oh and live sex shows. THese guys need to update their marketing, the front of the sex shops have bad 80's pump scene photos out the front with some guy trying to sell sex like its some brand new concept.. I got free wireless in the hostel dude, your gunna have to lift your game to get me to spend 30 euros to see someones parents bumping uglies...

fab came and met me on thuirsday (my birthday), we raged around the place, went and met up with the crookers and thunderheist, raged some shows around amstedam. Europeans go fucking nuts for the crookers, stage diving and shit. Fra and Bott are fabs mates from when he was a young creepy italian, rad dudes, good hangs.

Got high as shit with grahm and isis and went and watched Star Treck (in english). It sucked ass.

Isis' douche room

Ended up changing my plans and heading to Connobio with fab to see his home town. Check it out, most beautiful place i have ever seen. Lakes and mountains. Ate some legit italian food and chilled. Went and got drunk with Fra, Fab and Fras girl, everyone was busting out mad italian, was rad. Funniest thing is these guys could all rap wutang and shit before they could speak english. This is Conobio

Italians dont fuck around. Guns for show, knives for a pro

Hit up rome. Amazing place, cool hostel. Party all the time.

drank red wine, woke up feeling like i had been hit in the face with a sledge hammer.

Walked around for 6 hours and saw the collaseum and all the monuments. Lots of naked statue dudes fighting horses and looking bad ass.

Went on a pub crawl last night. Highlight was hanging out with some really legit peeps from all over the world in this baller club watching these italian dudes breakdance. Low light was getting spat on by a homeless guy with about 7 teeth. Strolled out of the bar to find somewhere to piss cos the line was stupid long, get about 200mtrs from the pub, some dude comes up and grabs my arm and is talking in italian, i back up, he grips tighter, i give him a shove and he falls down 2 steps, gets up and fires a mouthful of spit perfectly into my eye. I have a feeling he has done this before because his aim was spot on. I punched him hard in the face and he scurried off shouting and all these other homeless crackheads started coming down the street.. I bailed back to the bar and washed aids out of my eye for like 40 minutes. DIdnt really bounce back after that. Homeless spit in your eye is going to fuck up your night any way you look at it. Oh yeh, jock dudes on the pub crawl were all like "lets go fuck that guy up yo".. Railing on some homeless dudes isnt going to make me feel any better about having a face full of mouth jizz. So now i have a paranoid sore left eye and a fucked up hand. thanks rome, its been real.

saw a police cover band play at a bar. They didnt speak any english apart from police lyrics. couldnt help but think about scrantonicity. One of the best concerts of my life.

the girl opposite me on the train looks like one of those girls from a movie that is mad plain, but takes off her glasses and lets her hair down and is cracking. We just conversed but she dont speake much english. romance over.

i should stay off facebook when im drunk.

i should stop drinking when i get home.

Heard an australian dude talk about another mans phisique as "100 kilos with 1% body fat bro". Sweet pub crawl conversation fuckhead.

ate heaps of good fruit. Italian fruit is nice. yep

Saw a girl do a "i have seen step up 1 and 2 a hundred times, i got this shit" bendback and just stack it onto the steps of the stage in this club. I have realised that seeing people do super stupid shit and get hurt is totally hilarious. Everyone was freaking out cos she knocked herself out, but seriously, if you wanna bust out b grade white girl dance moves, you must deal with the consequences.

walking around the collaseum there are dudes dressed as legit old roman guards, they really play it up too and get people to pay to have photos with them. Best thing i saw in rome was this super real roman guard checking his facebook on his iphone.

Photobombing people inside the vatican is personally funny. No one else really feels it.

Taking photos of people taking photos of monumental shit is the new black.

i wish i packed light and got a backpack. I look like a tard wheeling round a 30kg suitcase thing with a skatey strapped to it. Im the inside joke of the north face canadian travel crew. Some dudes have been travelling for like 7 months and they have a bag that wouldnt hold my toiletries. Ill carry my shit around like a dick but my teeth are clean and i smell like an angel.. metro travel life bitch, goin out like that

in on the train to cannes now. pretty much done to be honest, had a good time, got some stories but real life is calling..

home soon.

bet its changed heeeaps.

shortaayy.

Germany is beautiful and I dont want to come home.

2009-05-06T05:03:00.000-07:00

Prague is some scary shit.

Went on a pub crawl with a bunch of americans and a couple of australians on Friday night. Was pretty cool, the hostel I was in was dope and had a really good bunch of people so we all ehaded off together. Bought a bottle of vodka for 70 crowns, which equates to about $2.00 AUS. It was literally labeled "vodka" and nothing else, no brand name, nothing.

got lost in the streets of prague cos this american doosh decided to be map guy. Dude was going on about how he was mad ripped and chicks were all about him back home. good one. he ended up going home with an english girl that looked like mr ed with worse teeth. winner.

hit the pub crawl, met some cool guys from canada, everyone is from canada. its crazy, pretty good people all in all though.

going between stops on said pubcrawl theres about 30 of us rolling down 2 blocks to the next place. I jump and touch a beam thats in this walkway. dont know why i did it. just did. didnt make a big scene, just jumped up and tapped a beam. like a big piece of steel that went between 2 buildings.

as i land i have euro cop screaming in my face, like a foot away from me in my face. "PASSPORT! PASSPORT!" Im just like, what the fuck, i tell him no passport, and ask him if he speaks english. "NO ENGLISH!" then he pulls out his batton and is holding it up. what. the. fuck. No shit this guy was going to beat me and take me to czech prison. Tour guide for pub crawl spoke some shit to him in Czech and he ended up letting me go. Shit was real though.

last bar was lame, headed back to hostel. went into a bar by myself and ended up drinking with 3 Czech dudes that didnt speak any english. One of the wierdest experiences of my life. Super nice dudes, literally sat with them till about 4 in the morning. They would point to an object and say its name in czech, i would say it in english. Pretty primitive interaction but it was awesome. Night ended with them walking down the street yelling at tourists saying "wanker" and "asshole" in english.
entertaining.

heres some snaps

trained it to Berlin next day. Germany is the most beautiful country i have ever seen. got into Berlin around 5, skated around and bought this sweet camera for 6 euros of a street vendor. Bout to go get my first roll developed and see if it actually works. Did the tour of the city yesterday. saw the berlin wall, the cathedral etc, its actually pretty overwhelming. Germans are incredibly friendly and this city is awesome.

My hostel looks like a squat for neo nazis though.

toilets here are wierd, hard to explain, not really worth talking about but they have like 2 levels in th bowl. im sure someone knows what im talking about.

in prague, met some cool aussies. in berlin, met some aussies that made me want to throw away my passport. Heres hoping for swine flu. If you rely on being australian to make up 90% of your persona then your a fuckhead. jesus christ.

Aiiit, so it is a new day and i havent posted this yet. Left the neo nazi hostel and moved to this awesome place called baxpax downtown. Its like heaven, so if our going to berlin, stay there.

United beat arsenal. i was so happy i called bladam.

Heading to amsterdam today.

Skated in the rain for half an hour to collect my photos from my new camera. Turns out that the chemist has lost 3 rolls of my film so i will never get to see them. fucking off it. seriously.

Met a canadian girl that thought she was the best thing since sliced bread. Personally i think sliced bread is over rated, but this girl was about as cool as getting shat on by a bird.

Oh and its my birthday tomorrow. 27 ftl.

In other news, i decided that i didnt want hair anymore because im travelling and its a hassle. So i grabbed my trusty battery powered clippers and started buzzing. Unfortunately they werent up to the task so i ended up with a short patch across the front of my hairline and the rest was bout 3 inches long. I looked like Devon Townsend. It was about 8pm so i put a beanie on and took to the streets to find some clippers. No clippers. Ended up in some super super swank hairdressers, getting laughed at by hot german girls who were nice enough to clean up my stupid head.

Berlin isnt super party, but its a rad place. Rained a lot. Had good times.

Thanks berlin.

Berlin Snaps

peace.

Czech One Two.

2009-05-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

see above for lamest title ever.

Peace out UK. I had some good times.

Caught up with my mums mum and sister, was rad, havent seent hem in about 15 years. Suprised my gran by just rocking up at dinner with flowers and introducing her to her 6'6 grandson. Rocked her 85 year old world.

Stayed with my grandpop and caught up with my dad in manchester. Got some work done which was good. Mission and a half though as i had to keep ducking outto starbucks to upload shit cos i had no internet. headfuck.

Went to Old Trafford on Wed night with Simon and watched united beat arsenal in the european cup semi final. Hugest atmosphere ever, absolutely loved it, definately will never forget being there. Dont know if i wrote in this earlier but went to United Tottenham at old traff the week before and watched utd come from 2-0 down at halftime to win 5-2. cheya

Sooooo now im in prague. This place is fucking amazing. Skated allover the city yesterday and took a bunch of photos. Theres a great vibe here and the city is actually beautiful. Beer is cheap, plenty of dudes trying to hustle you though. Plenty of sketchyness goes on at night, got to watch urself. Met some great dudes in the hostel and went out drinking till 7am. Shiut was hectic.

Currently sitting in the slowest internet cafe/hostel of all time trying to upload my fional 2 jobs before i actually am on holidays. Has taken nearly all day. very off it, cant escape the thinktank. argh

Drunken poms travelling abroad can suck a dick. Apart from James, he's sweet. Mad tight ass though, have renamed him scrooge. If u ever need cutlery his sheffieldian ass will hook u up.

My hostel is amazing, room has a balcony and all, hugely exceeded expectations. Meant to go to berlin tomorrow but as i am at the mercy of the internet sending these fucking files and have lost a day, i may stay in prague an extra day and go see the castle and some mad skate park. Probably will hurt myself. All good.

short and unfunny post im sure, but ah well, im hungover.

stood in the lobby of the sex toy museum yesterday but was too much of a prude to go in. Plenty of nobbing devices from medievil times. Dirty dirty dirty.

went into a club that i was sure was goign to be the place that i die. All these mechanical contraptions, fuck all english speaking people. everything made of steel, looked like a submarine. SAaw a dude fall of his chair. was very funny. but a little sad. It was while he was asking me for a cigarette in Czech. Tough days.

Amewrica was so entertaining, i think im not oging to have that much fun shit to talk about fronm here on in, apart from, hey im in ________________, met people, saw shit, partied, took some photos.

ah well

deal with it

peace.

my names terry and i'm a law abider

2009-04-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

"why yooo lookin at me loike oim sum sowt of carnt"
nearly punched on with some drunk idiot in the tube the other morning infront of my step sister and her husband. People in Highbury are fucked.

In more recent news, London has actually shown itself to be a pretty rad city. Im all for judging a book by its cover, but occasionally I open said shitty cover and read a pretty cool story.

Finally got a charger for my canon, left my portrait lens in coventry though so shot all of this on the widey. London underground is AMAZING, easiest most convenient transport system ever.

Quick few things before i finally get some sleep.

Almost all of banksys pieces have either decayed, been painted over or chemically removed. Walked around for a while today to see a half decayed rat with a parachute and 3 tins of cambells spray paint.

CCTV reigns supreme here. It is 1984.

Cops dont carry guns but guards carry fucking rocket launchers. And dont like being photographed. At all.

Sri Lankin protester hasnt eaten for 17 days. I went and saw him. Was the only white guy int he park.

I snuck around the back of Westminster Abbey to take some snaps, found a door, went in to the gardners quarters, found another door, went into the abbey. Got thrown out in about 6 seconds. Pretty scary.

Old buildings are awesome.

Went bowling with Nat and her work mates, hadnt seen her in about 10 years and it was good to just hang with a bunch of normal people and bowl the ass off them. Not really, but i did aiit.

Heading to manchester on saturday till next thurs when i hit prague and begin my eurotrip. Culled it down a bit cos i got to get home to take care of some biznass so check it

Prague, Berlin, Amsterdammmn, Rome, Venice, Barcelona, Cann (film fest), Hong Kong, Perth

See your asses May 22.

Snappage.

Up from the depths. I slid down these last night and my hand got all grubby. Yes. Grubby.

Highbury. My temporary home.

Leicester Square

his cop asked me a whole bunch of questions about why i was photographing Waterloo station. Terrorist joke didnt go down to well. Stood and watched as i put the camera in my bag and zipped it up.

Dont behave like an artist either. Most of the stuff in here is shyt.

Nothing says public disobedience like graffitiing a wall while professional photographers snap it and your entourage eat the catering.

Quotes like this make me want to Hijack a plane

Banksy

Stairway from heaven

The bricks in this photo are awesome. No shit.

All these rules man.

The flowers fall from the trees and look like snowflakes. No thats not poetry, thats what happens. Sat here for about an hour

vshhooommm

my friend went to london and all he got me was a photograph of a my friend went to london and all he got me was this shirt shirt.

This is actually england in 2009. Stealthy looking CCTV, PA systems and history.

Sri Lankan protesters. Suprisingly friendly.

much love.

Free the west memphis three.

edit: this just made me laugh into one of those crying stupers

London

2009-04-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

10 hours on a plane.

not too bad really. Sat next to two old men who were totally entertaining in their hatred for eachother. An indian and a pakistani sit on a plane.. I thought they knew eachother but turns out they were just random haters. I told them that they had 10 hours to find something in common. I got blank stares.

Started watching a movie and my screen kept dying, called over the air hostess man and he said there was nothing he could do, so i asked if i could just chill in first class cos there were spare seats avail. He laughed at me. I wasnt joking. 10 hours without a TV on a plane. Fuck that.

So i was playing round on my laptop and it started to die, i asked another attendant if there was a power supply. "only in first class". hmmm. First class seemed to be where it was all happening. So i waited for a bit then made my move. I slid into first class un noticed, sprawled out in the little lifepod seat, flicked on the TV and lived life. Lasted about 25 minutes before the air hostess guy sussed out my shadyness. He wasnt siked, I was even less siked. Back to economy for me.

Landed to find my cousin Nik who i hadnt seen in 11 years waiting for me. Was pretty romantic. Came back to his place to hang out and meet his heavily pregnant and totally awesome girlfriend carolina. They decided that naming the pending child was too hard so its been left up to me. Game on.

Went out and met up with my sister and her boyfriend in central london, fought jetlag like a demon, went and saw poison the well play in camden. Was rad, camden was sort of like cancer though.

Man i have had such little time to write in this thing, the above was written like a week ago. Heres some photos. (these are all done on a digi so they suck)

Toby in the alps

Kissing corpses

wanker

nothing happened

soooo heres some observations about london.

people here are ugly. I dont know if its environmental, or that they jsut drink too much, maybe its got something to do with the lack of sunlight, perhaps they are slowly moving into being aquatic creatures on the count of the general climate and dampness, who fucking knows, but in general London, you are ugly. you see a hot girl here and she is literally guarded by her boyfriend. He pretty much puts her in a cage and wheels her around while holding a gun while all these chunk looking dudes groan and try and grope her through the bars. I dont know if anyone followed that.

I grew up, well spent a fair bit of time growing up, in Joondalup. Most of my Joondalup memories revolve around drinking in English pubs, talking with english friends, drinking pints, watching football and going to really shit clubs where people fight eachother and hook up with fat english ex pat girls. Me Nick and Toby went out the other night in Kingston and all of those memories came flooding back. The music was 10years out of date, the fashion was exactly the same as the early 2000's in Joondalup and there were a lot of pale fat girls and chav looking loser dudes.... fail.

It gets better though, we went to a bar on easter sunday called chocolate or something. I decided after 10 minutes that me nick and tobes would be better suited to a VIP booth with a bottle of vodka. So i just invaded a private booth and sat down. The dude whose booth it was came up and told us to leave. I told him that i was only in london for 2 nights and i wasnt going to spend it amongst the grime. I ordered a bottle of vodka for the table and the dude let us stay, he was actuall really cool., Turns out he was one of the biggest club promoters in london, night turned out to be a good laugh. Nik has this drunken habit of randomly telling people where they are from. Example, There is a big jet black bouncer in Camden and nick says "your from somalia". The dude is, they talk about somalia (nic has travelled the world and has lots of random cultural knowledge). Sometimes he gets it wrong. He called a chav kid a palestinian and the kid said he was going to kill us all or something. His gf then warned us that he was "dangerous" and we should run... nope. Needless to say, we are all still alive. Kid was a mad liar.

This is me nick and toby so u can put faces to the names

Table hookers are the same in london as in LA. Girls snake through the vip booths looking for free drinks and then slither off. Their eyelids actually close sideways and they are quite venomous. (and the english ones have bad dental)

Met up with grant in Mile End. Went and saw grand master flash and Jazzy Jeff. Was dope.

Went to tobys joint in Coventry. His mates are a good laugh, would have liked to spend more time there but london is much more central. Me and toby are pretty much like thelma and louise though. Been raging pretty hard and driving cars off cliffs and shit. We went walking through london and the streets were totally empty. Took this nostalgia shot (the second was taken 2007ish in sydney). Homeless international...

London 2009

Sydney 2007

Manchester is dope. Went out to a club with toby where i got all dressed up and drank with millionaire teenagers. The carpark was full of audis, range rovers and porches.. And tobys 1979 VW Jetta. Pimpin. Oh and rich manchunians are the best looking people out. Shit was crazy

My cousin simon has hooked me up like a demon. Scored me tix to the FA cup semi final at wembley. I got the train from Manc to london in the morning, dropped my stuff at Michelle and Chris' place and bailed to Wembley. Dropped probably the worst gas of all time on the train, no one knew it was me but everyone was losing their minds. All the football geezers started chanting about it. It was actually amazing. I wasnt goign to mention that i farted on this blog, but shit, about a hundred people were chanting in its honour.

United fucking lost. Off it.

Met up with internet celebrity Charlie B in london and stayed in the same hostel for a few nights. She likes to get drunk and fall over while walking home. She also likes to go to australian bars with 1 pound drinks. Drinks good, people bad. Imagine black bettys but... actually, just think black bettys. I actually stepped completely out of my shoe in there and my shoe was stuck to the floor. Lots of australians acting like tools, was a good laugh though.

Went on a red bus rooftop tour. Im a tourist.

Scammed first class on the train to coventry. was rad.

London has so much history its amazing, but u already know that

this was cool.

found some banksy stuff, pretty off it, cos there are banksy tours and shti now. I liked it better when it was still pretty unknown. By me knowing about it, im as much a part of the problem as everyone else i suppose.

Kicking off europe earlier than expected. Not loving london. may 30 - barcelona, may 7 amsterdam then berlin, prague spain and down to south of france. Will be home late may now i think. Who knows. Got work to do.

I my have missed the whole backpacker thing by a few years maybe. Or mayb just london backpacking. Im all for the party but i dont need to do it in underwear with writing on my body skulling a jug and fingering girls in rank pubs while singing living on a prayer.

Michelle and Chris' place is awesome.

Meeting up with some old friends this week, including Claire, who is engaged to a dude that (in this photo) looks a bit like me. creepy.

Seeing Nat too, who i havent seen in about 10 years. Should be random, but a bit of local london knowledge goes far im sure, shes been living here a while.

going to see united vs tottenham this week. Siked. Then next week its the champions league semi final at old trafford against arsenal. Will be calling bladam after the match..

Saw another man that looked like a hot woman. Shit is confusing, i miss simple gender defineable perth. No i didnt do anything, i just saw her/him. creepy.

london tube system is fucking amazing. best public transport system.

Im going to stop drinking for a few days, realised i have been out every night since i got to the UK.

Flights home are fucking expensive. Just checked. Damn.

will be calling danny from an airport begging for a flight home. Dejavu. Dejavoodoo.

going to lurk london tomorrow and take some snaps with the canon. It hasnt been out yet in the UK.

Hope everyone is livin.

see your asses soon enough.

your nobody till your talked about.

xoxo.

say goodbye to hollywood.

2009-04-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

goodbye hollywood.

Leave this place in a couple of days, getting pretty siked on london.

Meeting this dude at the airport

then this dude is coming to hang out

I will see this girl for the first time in over a year

i get to go see this

with this guy

and just after i touch down i get to see these guys

do this

hopefully i dont get stabbed by these dudes

and also get to hang out with a bunch of family and friends that i havent seen in a looooong time.

Went out to a place called Bardot the other night. Pretty damn swank. Got very drunk with some friends that i am going to be very sad to leave behind. Ah well, facebook and messenger should keep us in touch, and besides, im sure ill be back in LA pretty soon. Got some thinking to do i spose.
I was rocking a pretty B grade mo and a pose that made me look like a super villain on said night. Heres some shit that popped up on the net of Jacob, andrew, Yoshio, Luke, Joanna, Yvonne and I. Great fucking people, they are all a part of dim mak (or married to part of dim mak, or the sister of someone who is married to a guy that is a part of dim mak.. you get the point) Regardless, didnt get to spend as much time as i would have liked with this lot, time flies i spose but, i dunno. fuck it, heres photos.

Hit up Bamboozle fest in Irvine on Sunday with brooke and kurt.
It was pretty much soundwave for California. Really jus wanted to see the bronx and thrice, ended up seeing some band whose name i dont know absolutely kill it. But i dont know their name, so i guess nobody wins. Anyway, it was exactly what you would expect only worse. People taking posing for photos to a whole new level over here. I watched this LOSER kid hold a pose for a good minute and a half while his mate tried to suss out the camera. People kept walking between the camera and the subject and the guy was getting so pissed off that when the person had gone past he would pull up his finger at their back. Dude was tough as shit. Glad he didnt turn on us.

This guy was there. Anything i could ever do in my life couldnt make me this cool. I guess you have it or you dont, and this guy my friends, has it.

bronx killed it, dudes were drunk as shit though, only about 50 people watching and 2 idiot hardcore dudes thought it would be cool to start a circle pit and attack everyone. Managed to nail one of them pretty hard but it sort of ruined my viewing experience. If you like the band Emmure, your brain capacity is around that of a small monkey. Im all for hardcore, but dumb arian looking motherfuckers grunting to a constant breakdown is about as much fun as analising vomit.

Saw I AM GHOST play too, for about a minute and a half. band would have suited a better name, like, I am Old, or, I am wearing makeup with my old friends, I am in a shit band wearing makeup, I am creepy for being old and playing to 12 year old girls.

fuck music is in a bad state at the moment.

Having drinks tonight at Cinespace for my going away from LA thingo. Spewin im gunna miss this next week, to add insult to injury I had to change the lineup on the flyer about 90 times. Thanks Bryan, asshole. (i know americans dont get sarcasm, so i do actually like u, asshole)

oh yeh when i got here i wanted to party at the Dim Mak clubs and all that, now the thinktank logo is allover their shit, like herpes. if you come to LA, go party at anything they are involved with cos it is bad ass.

speaking of which, my Japanese friend Yoshio is about to be famous cos this is who he is, he is sort of like a legit japanese version of borat.

chequieee

GOOD JOB YOSHIO Show- Episode 1.1 "People Poo Poo For Me" from Dim Mak TV

Havent had a redbull for 2 days. it seems that eating breakfast is actually a good source of energy. Thanks for that brooke.

Kurts new place is dope, but its sort of in the hippiest area in the world. Sometimes you sort of realise u are an asshole, i have met a bunch of crew there and they are super nice to me, but i cant help but dislike them. I mean, dudes all live in this area that everyone knows is the indi capitol of LA, they become "starving artists" and do shit like, wear old clothes, talk about poetry, sit outside a cafe all day and make no reference to anything even remotely contemporary at all. ever. I got an idea, how about I live in Silverlake, start writing poetry, sit around talking about obscure indi bands that no one ever liked at the time, and stop working. That way i could be a starving artist (cool as shit) because my poems arent taht good. I wonder what would happen if someones poems actually ended up being good... They might get rich, then wat the fuck would they do with all the cans they have been collecting to pay the rent.

Im really not that judgemental.

Heres some new photos of kurts place anyway.

It has rooftop access.

Well this will probably be my last post about LA so yeh basically, it has been awesome fun. I have been homesick and worried about home situations, however I have had an amazing time. It occured to me that most of my close friends probably read this (cos u have no lives) so im really not going to have to tell any stories about my trip when i get home.

Trying to suss if i can afford to go to Tokyo on the way back in june, should be able to make it happen.

well im pretty much out of steam, cant really think of much to say. Oh except

99c store, amazing.

thats right, 2 of the best nba videos ever, on one dvd. for 99 cents.

ay may zing.

oh we jsut did the graphics for the new sneaktip showroom too

check it out

check out their site too, marlon is good people sneaktip

hope everyone is well.

viva la revolucion.

7 days yo

2009-04-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

7 days to go. Time flies i suppose, Im pretty off leaving bla bla bla, you know the drill.

This blog has had so many hits its retarded, if you want to read something thats actually entertaining, you should check out buddyhead, that site prety much made my life growing up, and it just went back online.

So yeh, standard, my time in America is almost up, im pretty happy to say that I havent really done any touristy shit (bar san fran) and I have just come here and lived it up for the last 3 months. Met some awesome people, drank and smoked more than I should, eaten enough fastfood to film an independent documentary, spend a truckload of money, consumed around about 800 litres of redbull, designed a whole bunch of shit, hit home on facebook 7000 times, watched that Im On A Boat video about 30 times, been screamed at by 50 odd homeless people, mistaken 2 transvestites as women, been in a few sketchy gangland scenarios, downloaded a bunch of music illegally, written about 20 blog entries, sent a million drunken texts, said the prase's "Perth, the only thing ont he west coast of Australia" , "No Kangaroos dont attack people", "Six foot six", "Nah sorry i dont have any change" and "Yeh, nobody really likes _________________(insert shitty rock band here) in Australia" far toooo many times, Had about 7 haircuts, Grew a mustache, smoked a tonne of cali green, had food poisoning twice, slept on about 7 couches, bought a skateboard, fucked my ankle trying to skate, and heaps more shit that i cant think of saying in a somewhat witty way.

Alright so of course there is some more crazy / fun / wierd shit that has happened since i last scribed in this self indulgent journal.

I was jsut downstairs, nursing quite a hangover this morning, and the camera vultures were snapping at the coffee bean across the road from the office. Nikki hilton came out and posed for a few snaps then got into her SUV and bailed. Good on you nikki, no paparazzi are gunna stop u getting coffee on one of the busiest streets in LA. Even when you obviously live in the hills.

Yesterday, as i mentioned before I was siked to read the buddyead site again, it has been down for ages. They talk about how Limp Bizkit have reformed and shit and write them off, pretty entertaining. So i go out for dinner with some friends then to some mexican bar/resteraunt in studio city for drinks. As we walk in i have to squeeze past John Otto, the drummer from Limp Bizkit. Yeh, so i know his name, maybe i know some lyrics to some songs, maybe i have a shady past that involves me liking a little rap metal at one time or another. But yeh, was sort of funny, dude looks like a wombat or some shit, he had some shitty Steve Judd like amoeba tattoo on his neck. Didnt fuck with him though just incase he was having "one of those days". bam.

Was eating sushi at some real famous wanky place, that was dope. Saw Neal Patric Harris. Doogie fucking howser. yeh it happened.

Drank Patrone last night too. TI likes it and so do i. Dont think its on the drinks menu in prison to be honest though. tough break tip.

Nobody uses the term "swanky" here. Acutally, come to think of it, im not sure if anyone does back home. Well they all say bughie. fuck i have no idea how to spell that. umm.. boo - gee. So yeh, random information for your ass. I went to a bar called Bardot last night, was pretty swank, scored a booth cos Luke is a big deal. Hung out with rad people, got snapped by some photographer, want to see the photos cos i have a pretty impressive mo at the moment and i probably looked like a creep. Actually, scrsap that, i look fucking rad. fuck uyou.

Went out for dinner / drinks the other night with kurt, brooke and Jennifer, it was jennifers room mates bday and there was a bunch of randoms there that i hadnt met before. Fucking dooshbags.. Frat kids that were wasted and falling over and shit. Some guy passed out on the table while he was sitting opposite kurt and brooke. Was pretty off it, got the bouncer to boot the dude and as he woke up he spewed all over the table. Fucking rank but it would have been a way btter story if he had projectile vomited on kurt and brooke. So if u are going to remember this story remember it not for what it was, but what it could have been.

Ended up bailing there and heading to a warehouse aprty in some stuio downtown. Sounds good, was lame. Few actor/director types, sketchiest area i have ever been.. ended up stuck in some conversation about american politics with some dick. What the fuck is an australian traveller going to have to say about the presidential election etc. I spend most of the conversation reading the text on my cigarette packet. Thanks dude.

All taxes just went up to 10% here. i think. who cares. im leaving.

So yeh, london next, i fly out a week today. Shit should be pretty cool, i tend to conentrate more on the place im leaving behind moreso than the place im heading. Gunna keep an open mind. If your reading this Toby, get in touch with me ya fookin gai. Looks like im gunna be back in Perht for my 10 year high shool reunion. Should be totally uninteresting. Swear to god that most of the people i went to high school with live the most boring existances imaginable. Put it this way, if you bought a house north of joondalup, dont go out anymore and work on your garden on the weekends then we have nothing in common. I mean fair enough, people get married and settle down etc but serisously didnt anyone move out of their comfort zone at all? Suppose im generalising pretty heavily but yes, i have lurked your facebooks and seen your lame ass photos, i hope you read this and dont talk to me at the reunion cos it would simply save me from having to think of something more interesting while you recap stories from back in the day. People that I know know they are probably an exception to the above rule.

Decided im going to head to the Canne film festival. No i cant spell it but i will be there partying on P Diddys yaught. thats the plan anyway.

Everytime u sneeze here people bless you. Its lovely.

I ate Wendys yesterday. They have square burgers that come wrapped in a tin foil like substance. Somehow even the steel wrapping paper became see through from the grease eminating out of said burger. I just want to know your looking after yourself. I am, i ammm looking after myself.

Flying to london is going to take 10 hours. Going to try and get an emergency exit seat. You probably dont think about this shit but im tall as hell, 10 ours cramped with my knees in the back of someones seat sucks ass. Hard. Wat hurts more and sends me into a near homicidal fit is when i see some average height wanker chilling in an exit lane. Its just insulting. 10 hours of fantasising about killing someone purely for their seating choice doesnt do good things for the mind.

Just met some dude downstairs from this show called Bully Beatdown on MTV. nice dude.

This window has been open for ages, people keep coming in and i need to keep doing actual work. Shit is probably more disjointed than normal.

peeeeeeeeeeeeeace

and i need more time...

2009-03-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

So i havent posted in a while. To be honest I have never been busier. Shit is absolutely a hundred miles an hour out here at the moment. I tend to just start writing these things and usually find my feet around paragraph three so I could pretty much talk shit about whatever here and just wait for something (semi) interesting to come out.

Ah the waiting game.

So the Idesign International awards were on in Hollywood on Thursday night. I rocked up severely underdressed and drank some free wine, snacked on some cheese and had my photo taken (which i still cant find on the net, may have been cut) Anyway, I won the award for Best Catalogue Design and was nominated for Graphic Designer of the year, which was pretty amazing. I was the youngest dude there and the only one in jeans. ftw.

Brad and Dyson, my bogan business partners at appareldirect, world dominating metal promoters and generally rad guys have been in town all week. Met the heads of a few major metal labels out here and scored some free dinners. Was awesome to hang out with mates on the other side of the world. We went to the Rainbow lounge on sunset for dinner on wed night...

Just before leaving i tell kurt where im going, he is like "oh yeh, cypress hill and ron jeremy are always hangin out there". I didnt think much about it and off i fucked.

Within 20 minutes of being in this resteraunt / bar, ron jeremy walks past and sits down. Dyson loses his mind. Finish my meal, cant stop looking at some dude that looks like an old version of Kid Rock that is sitting with 4 girls that look like they probably do or did porn at some point in their lives. Actally most of the girls in this place have definately had sex on camera at some point. Im sure of it. I digress, Kid Rock Snr noticed my constant glances (not in that way) and became pretty upset with me.. Still, pretty shitty story cos i still am not sure who he was but he was from something and looked like a real douche. Ah Well

The night continues, they let you smoke weed inthe front beer garden (it is pretty much on the street on sunset) so we take our drinnks outside and attempt to roll a spliff out of a hollowed out cigarette. Fail. I lean forward and ask the dude at the table next to us if i can steal a paper..

"only if you stop talking with that fucking stupid accent"

It was Sendog from Cypress Hill. Ended up chillin with him and his homies for a few hours talking shit and laughing at some dooshbag that was trying to get us to go see his shitty band the next night. The guy looked like he modelled himself on both Bono and Steven Tyler. At the same time. It was fucking retarded.

Ended up bailing at closing time, a homeless guy tried to sell me this rad tiny sony digital video camera for $110. I offered him $40 cash. Wasnt keen. The recession is even hurtin the Hustlers.

Left the bar and headed up to the Hills to check out the views at night. They fence off a lot of the good lookout spots at night so that gang dudes dont hang out there and rob tourists at night. Good thing im local as shit. End up climbing a fence, then watching brad fumble his way over followed by dyson. Suprisingly their primitive taste in music didnt do anything for their climbing ability.

Chilled and looked over the city. Was definately one of those life reflection moments, could have easily been on Dawsons Creek. Security rocked up and told us off, probably would have copped a fine if brad didnt talk us out of it with the "we are from australia and were just admiring your beautiful city" line. Golden.

Night finished around 6am back at marina del ray, where Curb your enthusiasm is filmed. Such a nice place, quite the contrast to Hollywood.

Oh that reminds me, i went to meet them at their hotel on Monday night for Dinner. Cost me $45US to get a cab from my place to Marina. Coming home, it cost me $70US.Dude took me the entire length of Crenshaw at 3am. I was going to call him on it but i was pretty confident that he was going to kick me out in Compton at 3am if i argued with him. Thanks taxi man, I would have ended up being found naked and dead by these kids

Been working at Dim Mak a fair bit, I have rebranded Dim Mak Tuesdays (which is the hugest party in LA) and started doing their flyers. I designed one for Rye Rye the other night which was awesome cos shes dope. I just got asked to do 3 designs for Kid Cudi too. Sooooo fucking siked. Im such a design nerd. All the dudes at Dim Mak have become really good mates, im going to post a video of Yoshio, my new japanese friend on here soon, he is like the real borat. Dude is unintentionally hilarious and partys like a demon. Heres the flyer format and logo redesign i have just done for them

Dorcia is linking up with Dim Mak for a party on the tursday night before good friday at Bar Open in perth, Get down there cos we are giving a bunch of free shit out.

So i leave LA a week on Thursday. Bitter Sweet really, iv had such a fucking amazing time here, I cant figure out if it has gone super fast or not... If anyone is thinking about coming out here, just do it, dont holiday in Hollywood, but definateyl do 3 weeks to a month. I think u need to really spend some time here to appreciate it.

Enough of my motivational tape bullshit. Im tired of typing so im gunna just rant.

Kurt and brooke just moved into a new apartment. Its on Sunset Junction and is fucking rad. Thanks heaps kurt, i have been living in the ghetto for nearly 3 months, the week i leave u move into a baller pad in party central. Way to go.

While i have been boxing to keep fit with Tiger downstairs, i have gained a litre a day redbull addiction, coupled with about a 15 cigarette a day habit and i swear too much. At least i dont drink coffee.

LAPD pretty much beat up a friend of mine. Fuck the Police. Not in an australian, "cops are fucked aii" sort of way. Cops over here will fucking kill you if you cross them, they are the biggest gang in LA and have more power than anyone. People generally fear them more than the Bloods and Crips. No shit. They hate Whoopie Goldburgs lips..

I saw Gwen Steffani outside work the other day. She was surrounded by about 9 papparazo, papparazi, whatever. She actually looked incredible, like she was in a movie or something. Hard to explain. Anyway i said hi cos she walked right past me and she said "heeeeeey". Yeh, she was def keen.

I saw alec Baldwin last week, cant remember if i already posted that.

I just shot the new range of Sneaktip stuff to get posted on blogs and shops like Karmaloop etc. Just did it for a mate here, was a quick snap job but came out pretty rad.

Should have gone to Les Deux last wed cos Rhianna and Adrian Brody were there hanging out with my friend Marlon. Marlons gf is her stylist. Pretty sure she is over black dudes that dance good, could have definately used my "white guy that dances bad" card... lose.

Missed out on seeing birds of tokyo with brad and dyson cos we got the dates mixed up. Woops.

Still have no idea where im staying in the UK. Should probably get onto that.

Trying to get my friend Romi to get me in to get tattood by Kat Von D next week. Not because I want to be on her hack show, but cos shes rad at tattooing.

I went to a bar in Silver Lake last night called ChaChas. They had a vending machine that had the following contents. This Is no lie.

Tampons.
Cigarettes.
Porno Trading Cards
Chocolate
Saddam Hussein Collecter Cards
Spermicidal Lubricant
Corn Chips
Candy and Chips.

amazing.

Heaps more has happened i think but im really tired of typing.

Muchos Gracious.

Bring back Hangin with Mr Cooper.

- s

travellin down this road too long..

2009-03-24T17:25:00.000-07:00

TI goes to prison in 4 days.

T.I.'s Road to Redemption

i bet the dude is on a pumping rampage.

American Prison looks like this

Saw Alec Baldwin walking yesterday. Arrick Bardweeeen

Hung out with Brad and Dyson of Soundworks fame last night. Crazy to chill with good friends on the other side of the world. Best dudes. They are my business partners in ApparelDirect too along with the lovely Asha Wesson

Seeing Birds of Tokyo tomorrow at the viper room. River Phoenix wont be there but im sure it will be dope anyway.

So siked on dorcia right now, exciting things to come. Even though im half the world away.

Scored this yesterday for safekeeping for a few months. A friend of mine and kurts worked on the Obama Campaign for Sheppard Fairey and got this personally signed. Its legit and gave me a semi.

Working on some rad shit at the moment. Check the thinktank blog soon for updates etc. Or go there now

www.thinktankdesign.com.au/thinktank

Check out delbys site too. Hes pretty good at photographism.

www.thirdenginephoto.com

kick, push, coast (stack)

2009-03-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

went and skated the burton ramp on the roof of the melrose store. So rad, shoutout to Jeff for hooking it up and showing me how to skate a ramp.

Fucked my ankle pretty bad and bruised up a bit but it was dope.

check it

this is actually where i fucked the ankle, board fucked off and i ate shit

more injuries to come...

Bury me in 501s and 10 deep

2009-03-21T14:31:00.000-07:00

Sup kids

So i got to bail LA in three weeks. Pretty off it to be honest, but come what may i suppose. Time to make shit happen in London and then chill around Europe for a month before returning home to Perth to decide where my life is going to go.

Im usually ready for whatever, but LA has floored me. You know how people talk shit and give you those cliche'd sayings like "you can achieve anything you put your mind to" or "today is the first day of the rest of your life", i fucking hate that shit. Im not really sure what my point is here, im a bit hungover so this is going to be a bit disjointed. Oh yeh, i was getting at the fact that absolutely anything can happen here, in a second, and where im from, shit doesnt work like that.

So im just gunna go through various events that have happened over the past few days.

I have started working for Dim Mak in LA. They throw huge partys, put out some bullshit good releases and have a dope clothing range. I met a really cool couple called Luke and Joanna and ended up getting mad hooked up. So im in the Dim Mak offices 2 days a week till i leave and wil be continuing working with them through europe and back in Australia. This blows my mind, because half the reason i came to LA was to party at Dim Mak clubs like Cinespace and LAX and now im designing for them. Shit is crazy

I am not really going to say too much about what happens in the offices cos they keep a pretty tight lid on most shit, which is totally understandable, but i will say that they are good people and its totally refreshing to see that legit dudes are also super nice. Good times

I hit up Cinespace on tuesdauy night to see kid cudi. Soooo fucking good, dude killed it. Noreaga, Will i am and apple d all god up and freestyled. Was totally confused cos i think since fergie joined the peas, Will i am and co are pretty much the collective anticrist, however, he absolutely killed it on stage on tues. So now my whole existance is pretty much turned upside down.The band that opened the show were called Red Riders. they were australian. They dressed bad but they sort of killed it. then i saw that dooshbag dude that used to be on channel v. They automatically went from cool to a joke. i think he was their manager.

u can see my tall ass whiteboy head here too

Anyways, I met a group called thunderheist like the week i got here, they are super rad and very nice, we became [pretty good friends. Isis from the group was in town to do a live performance on the Jimmy Kimmel show with MSTRKRFT. We ended up getting hooked up with greenroom tickets and getting to see the performance. Met Noreaga and the dudes from MSTRKRFT. The producer came up tome and kurt and told us that we were going to be like right in the shot as jimmy threw from the desk to the stage and that we had to like look at jimmy, then at the stage as the camera came through. I took the opportunity to sealpaw america, unfortunately i cannot find footage of the event, im hoping it got on tele. Either way you can see my melon bopping about in this footage. Im the tall guy.

Oh also we met andy samburg from HotRod, he was on the show. Isis got a dope photo with him doing the jizz in my pants face. Fucking hilarious. Will post photo when it pops up.

Larry Clarke is shooting a new film/doco. cant say what about but i might be in it. Dude told me that we knew eachother in a previous life. i thought he was just some creepy old dude. He filmed me for ages which was sort of uncomfortable. I find out the next day that he is the dude that directed kids and bully. Crazy shit.

Aww yeah, i was walking home from the Kimmel show, down hollywood blvd at about midnight. I walk past this tattoo shop (nothing really closes here) right on hollywood, like stars and shit. Im pretty drunk and i hear this breakdown that sounds familiar. Prom Queen blasting out of the tatt shop on the other side of the world. Fucking random. Quickly called sean and blabbered some story about hearing his band. I thought it was cool. shuttup.

Found out that Thnderheist are going to be on the Crookers tour in europe when im there. Me and fab are going to be rolling a few dates with them so its going to be party times. Small world.

Designing some shirts for Kid Cudi. siked/

I continuously get fucked over at resteraunts over here. I either orer the most expensive thing on the menu or what i order is absolute shyt.

Heres some examples.

Hash browns. I like hash browns. Solid clumps of shredded potato. I like full english breakfast. Americans have no idea what a full english is. Everything here has pancakes and syrup and shit. And the sausage have sugar on them and shit. Its fucking stupid. Oh yeh, hash browns arent hash browns here so beware. They are like shredded potatos, not in solid clumps like we are used to. They are shredded like carrots. And they suck.

Macdonalds dont do a mcChicken. or maybe they do. i dunno, i tried to buy one today and the moron woman didnt know what i was talking about. If your macdonalds doesnt work, if yo cant order a happy meal easily, your country is fucked. Period. Clean up your act america.

They have powerade on tap here at macdonalds. No shit. random.

We went out for italian the other night and i asked the lady if they had carbonara. She said no. I explained that i wanted a creamy sauce with bacon and mushrooms. No. italy is fucking built on bacon mushrooms and creme. they had dishes like : pasta and olive oil. Sounds awesome. Or, it sounds like what u eat when u wake up hungover and realisr that the only 2 foodstuffs availabel in the pantry are maggie noodles and virgin olive oil. Italian my ass.

Found out that americans do actually know what "keen" means. they just thought i was saying "cane". i aint changin. cane it is.

Oh i mentioned that this girl looked Juvi the other day. She has modelled for dim mak and shit and is like an internet celeb (shes like 20). people lost their minds on the word juvi. im hell funny cos im australian.'

Met a dude from japan. he is way cooler than me on a novelty accent level. He asked me if i knew how to use illustrator but it sounded more like irrustwatah. Best thing ever.

Still havent seen a single fight in LA. No scuffles, no pushes, no shoves, nothing. Dudes will shoot you in the street, but they dont lay hands on eachother otherwise. Seems everyone sues everyone here so no one bothers. Maybe perth should start suing more.

I explained the one punch law to some friends here. They asked what happens if you kick someone, and if it is covered under the same law. smart asses.

Not really missing home anymore, just missing having a home, bed, couch etc. dont get me wrong, i miss my friends but shit is rolling out here. LA is still ghetto as shit but u can def see why ppl live here.

was gunna go to NYC but im not going to get a chance now.

accept my design award next week. will swiftly be changing my name to scott "internatinoally award winning" mellor. and getting grills.

United keep losing, pretty off it.

fuck yall.

not really.

love.

Ruiner.

2009-03-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

This has nothing to do with my trip but its still mildly entertaining and wholely addictive / annoying. I didnt sit here and write this in a day, me and my friends just added to it over time to ruin everyones life.

So, cancel your plans....

Oh i saw kanye wests girlfriend today. Crackin.

anyway...

Jim Carey wrote the book in the number 23.

Robert Deniro is Charlie in Hide and Seek.

Everyone dies in The Perfect Storm

Carlito dies at the end of Carlitos way.

Bruce Willis is dead the whole time in the Sixth Sense.

The only person in The Departed that doesnt die is Mark Whalburg. And hes an asshole.

Jet Li is the partner Jason Statham is trying to avenge in Rogue Assassin. He has just had plastic surgery.

Everyone bar mr Pink dies in Reservoir Dogs.

Taxi Driver is a shit film, regardless of what anyone tells you.

Watching Scarface will turn you into a self motivated dickhead. And its not very good.

Brad pitt is edward nortons alter ego in Fight Club.

Edward Norton is not Scitsofrenic in Primal Fear.

Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Soze in The Usual Suspects.

Tom Cruise is in a virtual reality game in Vanilla Sky.

Surprise Surprise Transformers has a happy ending, but the dude that looks like matt danan doesnt pump anyone.

Billy Elliot rises above his mediocre upbringing to become a super gay ballet dancer.

The Spanish Esse guy in Goal makes it. But his dad dies.

The mighty Ducks win, even though the odds are stacked against them.

Coach Carters team doesnt win.

Regardless of her leg movements, Sharon stone is the Killer in Basic Instinct.

Edward Furlong Dies at the end of American history X.

In Clerks 2, The fat bearded guy ends up marrying the cool black chick, not the scrawny whitey.

Bricktop dies at the end of Snatch.

The killer in saw is the bald guy on the floor that you think is dead.

Kevin Spacey is the killer in 7, and gwyneth paltrow gets decapitated and put in a head box.

I like Mulholland Drive, but it is about nothing at all.

Al Pacino is Satan in the devils advocate.

The crying game is actually named based on a dude finding out that the girl he is persuing has a penis.

No matter how many films you watch with him in it, Steven Segal will never smile. Even at christmas.

Bacteria kills all the aliens in War of the worlds.

Samuel L Jackson causes all the accidents and catastrophes in Unbreakable.

The innocent white guy in Shawshank Redemption chisels a hole in his wall during the whole movie, then escapes.

Nicolas Cage is entrusted by the police in Con Air to land a plane in Las Vegas, even though he is neither a pilot, nor an innocent man.

The village is actually based in modern times and the village exists in a national park fenced off from the modern world. The monsters are just the elders dressed up to stop the kids from getting too curious.

Princess Leia is Lukes Sister, Darth his father.

In the Others, Nicole Kidman and her kids are dead the whole time, they are infact the ghosts.

Bruce Willis, despite being cornered, captured and put to death over 30 times in the Die Hard series, never actually dies.

In Scream, the girls boyfriends are the killers. I think one of them is called Skeet Ulrich. What a shit name.

Rizzo from Grease's real name is Stockard Channing. What the fuck.

In a History of Violence, the main character is infact an ex Mob bad ass that is trying to be a small town family man. When found out, he kills the mob, then returns to being a family man.

Not related to movies, Ex France and Chelsea defender Frank Le Boef's name, when translated, means Frank : The Beef.

In "One Night in Paris", paris hilton does not "Do" the bottle, even though the dude try's to get her to.

Training day is infact a non fictional biopic based on Denzel Washingtons life before being an actor.

Dr Dre was denied an Oscar for his stirling role in Training day because he's black

Despite being retarded, Forrest Gump becomes a multi millionare.

the whole movie identity takes place inside the head of a psycotic killer, and at the end, the kid is the real killer, forcing the man to go on being a serial killer.

ashton kutcher never perfects his life in The Butterfly Effect, so to save the girl he loves from ending up a skanky hooker, he returns to the womb and strangles himself so he never exists.

Ashton Kutchers marraige to Demi Moore is just a very long winded attempt at Punking Bruce Willis.

In The Beach, paradise is lost after a series of events including a shark attack and Leonardo DiCaprio fucking the Witch from Narnia.

At the end of Running Scared, regardless of the plot up to the final scene, Paul Walker is, yet again, an undercover cop.

In home alone, kevin yet again defeats the wet bandits, returning them safely behind bars.

Lady in the water, is infact shit.

Your going to hate me but in 'The Prestige' Christian Bale's big trick is a fake, he has an identical twin brother with whome he takes turns dressing as his manager to live an elaborate double life. His wife kills herself, one of the twins hangs to death for killing hugh jackman, who turns out to be alive after finding out how to clone himself, but ends up dying at the hands of Christian Bale.

In cry wolf, jon bon jovi does a poor job of convincing the world of acting ability.

In man on Fire, Denzel washington kills pretty much every bad guy in mexico, the girl who you think is dead, isnt. denzel hands himself over to the drug cartel dudes in exchange for the child and is subsequently killed. The little girls dad set up the whole kidnapping and ends up killing himself out of guilt.

Hey Ben and Danny, Tony kills christopher cos he gets back on the gear after a car accident in the last couple of episodes of the soprano's. You dont get to see but Tony gets whacked when the screen goes black at the very end.

The guy in hotrod makes the $50k for his step fathers operation.

Angelina Jolie get pumped hard in Original Sin. Like you werent expecting that. Thats why you got it out.

In "we own the night, Jaquin (whatever) Phoenix becomes a cop after his dad is murdered, and he kills that bad ass dude, and his bangin girlfriend leaves him.

I dont remember what happens in The Kingdom cos i was cracked out on Morphene and Tramidol, but if i did know, i would tell you.

Denzel rats out everyone at the end of american gangster and cuts a sweet deal with the DA. Russel Crowe ends up as his lawyer.

At the end of Dejavu, after huge gaping plot holes and generally shitty acting, Denzel washington kills himself to save the girl. Or something.

In This is England, the dude from the Arctic monkeys clip is a fucking psycho. He basically loses his mind and fucks everyone up for no reason. The kid ends up fat and miserable.

I thought that Night at the Roxbury was an 80's movie, like the breakfast club, However it isnt, and while it was sort of funny, it has no twist to ruin.

The licensing department is actually a demonic organsiation set up purely to make one Scott Mellors life hell. Movie out soon

In Smokin Aces, after finding out that his partner was killed in the violence that ensued from a government coverup to gather information from a Cop turned mob boss, Van Wilder kills both Ari and the Mob boss by unplugging their life support.

in high fidelity john cusak gets back with his ex, unfortunately his real life sister doesnt die, in the movie, nor real life.

In eastern promises, the guy from lord of the rings is an undercover cop. and also a bad ass that kills people while naked.

in 21, they con the professor, the security cons them.

in when in vegas, ashton kutcher keeps all the money, but they fall in love & stay together anyway.

in the virgin suicides, all the girls kill themselves. why, i still don't know.

in city of angels, nicholas cage decides to become human. he & meg ryan fall in love, then she stupidly rides her bike with no hands on a main road and is hit by a truck & dies, making nicolas cages' sacrifice a huge long winded waste of time.

in cruel intentions, ryan phillippe falls in love then is hit by a car & dies. And he doesn't "put it anywhere" in Buffy

in december boys, the couple choose to adopt misty, but he says no.

in p.s. i love you, the girl doesn't choose harry connick jnr.

in deep blue sea, only the main guy & cuba gooding jnr survive. Samuel L jackson gets eaten by a shark while making his moving "we're not going to die" speech.

in dan in real life, dan gets his brothers sloppy seconds.

in what lies beneath, harrison ford is the bad guy.

not a spoiler as such, but milo & otis was made before all those 'animal cruelty laws' came about, so many puppies & kittens died.

Rob made me watch this fucking shit movie Electroma by Daft Punk. Now im all for daft punk but i hate that everyone associates anything they do with the word "amazing". Now this is a spoiler. Im going to tell you every single thing that happens in this masterpiece. Ready..... Robots drive in car. Robots get fake human skin and faces. Skin melts off. Robots walk through desert. One robot self destructs. Other robot cant reach self destruct button. Robot sets himself on fire and continues walking. The end. Amazing my ass. fuck u rob.

In 1408 the room is actually haunted, once you enter you can never leave. Its sort of like perth. The guy from High Fidelity dies cos he sets the room on fire, effectively taking it to hell with him.

In ATL, T.I. keeps it real, the girl he's dating is actually rich as shit, he finds out, leaves her ass, then his younger brother gets shot by Big Boi from outkast and TI and his girl are reunited at the hospital. His bro doesnt die. Theres heaps of gay rollerskating in it too. I used to think TI was dope.

in sex and the city, big doesn't marry carrie til the end. there are too many louise/st louis/louis vuitton puns. miranda hates sex. samantha gets fat. and charlotte shits herself. and no, I'm not kidding.

In Bruges (brooj) is pretty funny, but everyone dies. the three main characters at least. and the midget. well at least you imagine that colin farrel dies. cos he gets shot heaps of times.

In the dark night heaps of shit happens, you know cos you have seen it. just like everyone else. Pretty sure harvey 2 face dies though.oooh and so does the girl that was played by Joey Potter in the first one but they couldnt get her back because of somethign to do with scientology to do the second one so they got the girl who is the sister of the dude that heath ledger pumps in brokeback mountain.

I had to stop watching brokeback mountain cos me and tom were really hungover and it was just a bit wierd hearing that first sex scene with your mate sitting there. I dont really know why. Sort of like when a sex scene comes on and your watching a movie with your mum. You get that lump in the throat swallow thing that can be heard for miles.

In wanted the dude ends up becoming a mad assasin. They actually have him hunting his real dad, by making him think that his real dad was killed by the guy he is hunting. He figures it all out and then lifts the lid on the fact that the whole assasination choosing thing is being rigged by the black dude from Seven and everyone dies. except for the scottish dude.

Pineapple express is fucking shit. Apart from the "you just got killed by a daewoo lanos" or whatever he says. that was hilarious

Never Back down is exactly the same film as Step up (1+2) except its about fighting and not dancing. Serious its the same.

Eagle Eye is so shit. A computer that is created by the "government" for national security and to fight "terrorists" with "information" realises that america is evil and turns on its own country. It is super real too cos the computer has a computerised woman voice and is surrounded by heaps of futuristic looking mirrors and shit. but in the end america is good and the computer dies and everyone leaves the cinema wishing they had the last 90 minutes back.

In Biggy and Tupac, the documentary team visit Suge Knight in prison, the camera man shits it so hard that he starts filming the sky and ground and shit. Then he peeks back at Suges entrouage and bails. Its one of the funniest things i have ever seen.

Ironman is sick. I thought it was gunna suck ass really bad but it was actually totally entertaining. Robert Downey Junior should really just drop the whole junior thing though. No one knew your dad. He is only relevent because your name indicates that you have a father with the same name. And is that really important enough to reference in your name. No it isnt. Lose it.

Im so sick of Will Smith and his feel good movies. Even though they make me consider being a better person.

In Gone Baby Gone, Ben Afflecks younger brother plays a private detective that looks like a child but is a bad ass. He pulls his gun on dudes and even shoots a pedofile. Anyway, this girl goes missing, her mum is a crack head, turns out the police set up some elaborate scheme to kidnap the girl so that Morgan Freeman can have her as his daughter because his died. No one thought the crack head would mind. And she sort of doesnt. Regardless, Ben Afflecks brother blows the lid on the whole thing, loses his girlfriend and takes the daughter from her kidnappers and returns her to her crackhead mum.

Rocknrolla is rad. All you really need to know is that the old gangster dude that you hope is going to die, does. Turns out he was working with the police and grassing on everyone in the London underworld. His Junkie son is fucking hilarious. Oh and handsome bob is gay, and the dude from 300 holds him like a child.

Season 7 of the shield was so intense. I got so used to the intensity that now i jump through glass windows at random just to feel normal again.

Gus Van Sant is such a shit director. Its like, make a movie about something that would hugely interest the public, say... Columbine. If any glitzy hollywood director pitched that there would be the hugest uproar, there would be social groups and politicians waving there arms about how it is sacred and its too soon to make a movie about it, disrespectful etc. But cos GVS makes such fucking boring artsy shit films that dont really make much sense, everyone is like, fuck it... go nuts mr Van Sant. You know what is disrespectful, making a fucking headache inducing self indulgent movie out of a tragedy. If i was killed at high school, i would much rather have a movie with huge explosions and famous actors in it, all the dead students are rolling in their graves everytime someone rents Elephant.

In cloverfield, everyone dies, and the video recorder gets trashed.

That new mark whalburg film is fucking shit. the comic book one. i had no idea what was going on for most of it. i think i need to play more xbox or something.

If you watch the first 12 chapters of R Kellys Trapped in the Closet, you would give him a pass on the whole pissing thing. Its the greatest story ever told.

I got out Honey, thinking it was going to be as good as step up. but it wasnt.

The dude from Scary Movie, i think he's in most of them, like the main guy, did gay porn when he was a struggling actor. It was on E News. Gay porn is probably funnier than any of the Scary Movie series, though i dont really want to know for sure.

In Gran Torino the racist old war veteran with a good heart played by Clint Eastwood befriends his somewhere from South East Asia neighbours and goes down in a blaze of glory during one-on-seven street justice battle. Toad/Taoh gets the Gran Torino. The bad ass grand daughter with the belly ring and an attitude problem gets nothing.

In Slumdog Millionaire, the indian kid from Skins gets the girl, he doesnt cheat in the game show, his asshole brother dies and he wins 16 million or something. Then they all dance at the end.

In No Country for Old Men, the dude from Sarah Jessica Barcelona or whatever its called, kills everyone. Mainly with a compressed air cannister. Its morbidly depressing and he doesnt die or get caught. And Tommy Lee Jones is the lamest cop in the world.

San Fran - Epic Post

2009-03-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

This post is going to be full of photos and words that mean something to me, probably not much to you, so i take this time to be self indulgent and chances are, your going to read it. Baaaaa, Baaaa.

Alright so as i stated earlier, Kurts girlfriend was getting into town on Saturday so i thought i would be a good dude and bail the city, to give them some special alone time. So i hit San Fran for a few days, had a fucking great time, bla bla bla

This was my first taste of hostel life, im going to be rolling through many a hostel in Europe mainly solo so this was a good tester. Met heaps of good crew, heaps of average crew and a few losers. Standard.

Seems like in hostels are purely based around drinking beer, playing drinking games, dressing like shit and getting angry at people who spill beer. Turned my brain down to half and partook in the festivities of, well, drinking beer. Now most of you know that I pretty much drink Vodka exclusively, so hitting the beer messed me up pretty bad, held it together but.

So in sumarising, hostels are cheap, nasty, dirty, smell bad and are full of pretty cool people, over the top receptionists and staff, theres a few people that really play on the whole "your from this country, you must like this, my country is better" trip. Fortunately i feel i have no heratige and have no pride in any country, so people could write off english and australians till the cows come home. I like my friends, but australians can defend themselves. Your on your own Australia.

Met up with Callum and spent the day taking photos of the same shit, being generally rad and photobombing asian tourist photos. Sort of bitter sweet in that the act of photo bombing is hilarious but you will never get to see the photo... Heres me photobombing Callums arty BurgerKing photo

alright, heres a bunch of photos i took in sanfran.

lots of stickers outside a shoe store. standard.

me taking a photo of callum taking a photo.

This got me thinking about what makes a good quote. I think it comes down to the setting. You could have written anything at all on this monument, polished the concrete and had water firing out of it at random and it would have looked profound. Imagine if it read "bitches aint shit but ho's and tricks". People would have given that quote much more thought.

saw the creepiest thing right here. A homeless guy in a wheelchair. Only had one leg. Was trying to drag himself across the tracks with his one leg, sock half off. Swearing at the world. No pants. Saw his nethers. Too much to process, I just moved on with my life. Not sure if i will ever fully recover though.

Not pictured here, but the day before some 50 year old woman was standing in the cable car, the roads are pretty hilly and you lose your balance a bit. It was cramped. She kept saying "I cant do this, i just cant" in some desperate attempt to get someone to give up their seat. If you had one leg and no pants, my seat would have been yours. Until that day, please shut up, your ruining my ride.

Golden Gate Bridge was rad. Got all touristy.

(i stole this photo from callums blog - go there callumpreston.com)

Union square was really cool. Actually San Fran was cool all round. If anyone is coming to the states then check it out for sure.

This guy hasnt been laid in ages

Dick jokes are funny in any country. I recon if yuou were in afghanistan, there would still be dicks drawn on signs like this. And Afghanis would laugh, just as i did with this.

This is probably the best thing i have ever seen. Ever. Its like a study in the circle of life. The cat really wants to eat the rat. But he knows if he does, the dog is going to eat him. If the dog eats the cat with the rat inside it, he will have no companions, and then he is just a dog, not a fucking animal stacking superstar.

this is my favourite photo of the trip so far, and it was taken on the shittest camera i have ever owned (or borrowed)

This is MJ, i had met her a few times in Australia, she tour manages bands around America and Aus. Pretty sweet job. She and Callum dont kill animals for food so we ate at a vegan place and it was actually sweet.

Stole this photo from Callum again. I had been drinking pretty hard the night before. Look like some deformed supervillain.

This was in one of many stores Callum claimed to be cool, that really wasnt. Nothing says punk rock like an 80's face with glasses. Oh, actually, an 80s face with glasses and Minor Threat written above it, thats much more punk rock.

This place was amazing.

So yeh, that was my san fran trip. Good times good people.

Funny shit did happen though, as usual. Spotted a dude in the hostel bar, he had one of those short hair at front, mohawk mullet sort of haircuts, a white studded belt and a fighting bulls shirt on. Dude may aswell have been wearing an australian flag and dragging around a dead "insert ethnic reference here". Unfortunately he heard my accent and came over to abuse other nationalitys with his new team mate. Dudes name was, and this isnt a lie "Butch". He was from melbourne. One of the first F grade people I have met in this country, and he was from my country. "Irony isnt the right word, but its the first one that comes to mind" (yeh iv been reading Choke)

Oh that takes me back to the night before i left LA. We are standing in a bar called The Woods just off sunset, it was like a random culmination of all the poeple i have met in LA in the same place at the same time, totally unplanned. We are all laughing and just having a good time when some 5 foot 5 sweaty fat dude slams into me. I turn around and he is leaning back as far as he can looking up at me. My first thought is "I bet this dude is scottish". Im not really one for stereotypes, but u cant help what your first thought is. Dude opens with "your a big fooker arent yahrgh". Meet John from Glasgow. Way to be a cock.

On the flight home from San Fran there was some 40 year old guy sitting next to me. He wasnt one for conversation, im sort of chatty on flights a little bit, im the guy that you dont really want to sit next to if your antisocial. Anyway, the dude wasnt keen on chatting, i was cool with that. When the plane started speeding up on the runway he clutched his legs and started saying "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" under his breath and closing his eyes so tight that it made his face a purply red colour. Winner. Im pretty sure the plane would have crashed on take off if he hadnt done that little number. Thanks guy.

Just found out Kid Cudi is playing on monday night at cinespace. Super keen. My new mate Luke runs Dim Mak records, who run the night and gave us the heads up. Which is good, cos if i got that information after the fact i would have been off the world. completely. Im sort of Interning for Dim Mak while im here, they throw rad partys, release rad music and just generally do rad shit. Check them out here. dimmak.com

Thinking about going to NYC later in the month.

Europe is coming soon. Cant wait. But will be sad to leave LA.

Oh found out that you go to prison for a few days (up to 28) for street graffiti here. Now not to dent my integrity as an "artist" but sticking a poster on a wall in the middle of the night really isnt worth prison rape. Well thats my thoughts anyway. Im too pretty for prison.

Sort of have a beard. Wont last.

Should really do some work now

Hope everyone is winning.

Free Shappelle.

They will kill us all, without mercy

2009-03-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

Props to Delby and his streetness for letting me know whats happening in LA, even though he is in Perth and Im actually here. Found out the Bronx were playing a DJ set at a bar on my street in Hollywood called Kung Pow Kitty. Heres how the night panned out.

My mate Alex came into the office around 7ish, LA has kicked his ass so hes going back to Pitsburg to regroup and sleep with ex girlfriends. Dude is a good laugh, reminded me of my stoner perth friends. Speaking of which, Ben Ashley explained to me yesterday that he was sick with Bong Crisis. He then explained that meant bronchitis. Such a stoner joke..
Anyway, Alex explains that he is quitting smoking and busts out a packet of Nicotene Losengers. Explaining how they give you a steady release of nicotene and you dont feel like smoking.
So i grab one, suck on it. Literally feels like im inhaling a cigarette constantly for the next 30 minutes. I start tripping balls. Do not want. Go and buy cigarettes immediately.

We go grab some KFC, everyone laughs at me (not at all with me) for asking for a 3 piece feed. Its really not that funny. The mexican lady a the window offers me 18 pieces of chicken for $7. I aske her what the fuck i am supposed to do with that much chicken. She tells me that isnt her problem.

Pull up near the bar. get out of the car, walk down the road and i hear a clikcety clack behind me. I turn around to see 2 girls dressed in high heels and underwear strolling behind us. I just glance, i dont want to stare, i dont need to. Its Hollywood i spose, this shit happens, maybe they are strippers walking to work, maybe they just like underwear, who knows. So we cross the road and i tell alex and kurt to check it out. They turn around and are suprised at the site. I laugh. They laugh. We are now at the front of the club. The bouncer laughs. Alex says something about how standard that is in Hollywood. I say something like "what girls jut walking the streets in their underwear?".. Everyone laughs, hard. Way harder than my comment did any justice. Something is very wrong. Turns out im the only one that didnt know that they were infact men. Ladymen. How the fuck am i supposed to even consider this option. Im from perth, i dont think i have ever seen a ladyman. Seems back home, even if ur gay, you definately have an identifiable gender. I will never trust my eyes again. Ever. Nor will i live that down.. fuck Hollywood.

So we hit the bar and there was about 20 people in there. Was super chill, The Bronx dudes were spinning James Brown and Metallica, Greg from Bad Religion was there, Benji Madden was hangin out, it was a really cool vibe. There were $1 shots for 15 minutes from 12-1215. However, i had smoked about 5 cigarettes and had a nicotene losenger earlier so I was pretty much on PCP.
Met Benji and spoke with Matt from the Bronx for a bit. Both super nice dudes that had all the time in the world for some random giant australian.

yeh im rad at posing for photos..

Good times.

Kurt gave me a digital snapper, the 350d isnt really an option for general bar nights. Its pretty decent

Still hooking up european dates at the moment. Thinking about hitting sweden for a week before Amsterdam. Meeting up with Fab and his friends The Crookers in Amsterdam now, going to be party times for sure. Ill be the dude that doesnt speak italian. Charlie B is going to be in Europe at the same time as me too, so we are gunna rage a few destinations. Also going to meet up with my new friend Grant in London, even though we are creepy internet friends im pretty sure it will be a party. Gunna try and hit up Sean on the Deez Nuts tour in Europe too, i just need to find out where the hell the strange spelled places they are touring actually are.

Never a dull moment.

peas.

San Fran Bound

2009-03-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

Kurts girl Brooke gets into town this weekend, seeing as i have been living in his pocket for the last 2 months, i decided to give him and his girl some space. To have sex and stuff.

I hung out with Hug yesterday, hes another Perth dude and we rolled Fairfax and got yelled at by a homeless dude together. It was a real bonding experience. We discussed the real issues of America, like the fact that no one knows what the fuck "suss" or "keen" means. We are pretty deep. Anyway, he was raving about San Fran and how it was the best place he had been, so i thought, fuck it, im going to go and see the full house house and that red bridge. Plus I consider it training for my solo venture around Europe next month, so I booked a flight and a Hostel and Im outtie on Friday til Sunday. This is Hug and this is his blog

Everyone watch Eastbound and Down. Its amazing.

Moneys too tight to mention. Someone send me some cash.

Hit the hundreds store on fairfax and got photoboothed.

This store only sold hats. It was dope.

I wish home was as cool as LA. Get ur shit together Perth, I love you but your bringin me down.

My friend Hunter got arrested for DUI. Went to prison for 2 days then got released. You do not want to go to county in LA. But he did. Didnt get penetrated but had some mad stories. He did however write one of the most amazing poems i have ever read. Im going to try and get it to put on here. Dont get me wrong, i hate that new age hessian wearing "im ugly and have no sense of style or social skills so i write poetry so people think im deep" shit, but the dude was in prison, only had a pen and wrote the thing on his body.

That is bad ass. So is my animated gif

Free Chilly.

Downtown LA

2009-03-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

Kurts lease is up at the start of April, just before I bail this fair country into the abyss that is Europe. We went downtown the other day to check out some loft apartments. Basically there are about 4 or 5 blocks of apartments that are brand new. They were stock exchange buildings from the 50's taht have been boarded up for years, now they have been gutted and are being sold as very cool apartments. They all have rooftop pools and most have some of the best views i have ever seen. The one he is going to go for is about 11 stories up and has a gargoyle on the ledge out the front. I fely like Lex Luther being in there looking out over LA. These spots are all cheaper than what i pay in rent back home too. Its nuts.

Downtown is sketchy as shit though, i was really feeling the vibe of the place but its gang central apparently. Went to Estevan Oriols exhibition the other day on Melrose and stood for about an hour as his prints rolled past on this hanging conveyor thing. Nothing short of amazing, but definately makes you realise that you are in one of the most dangerous places in the world. A lot of his stuff is shot downtown, I liken the landscape to a massive version of St Georges Terrace, lots of grey and a lot of tall buildings, really fucking liked the area.

Hit another party in the hills on Friday night. Fucking hilarious. We went out and got margaritas at some mexican joint on sunset, then headed up to a friends house in the hills. The guy has just moved here from NYC and it was like his first day in this house. We drove up into the hills looking for his place, ended up at the top of the hollywood hills, you couldnt go any further. The view of the city from up there is almost 360 degrees. The city just keeps going and going. Annnyway. We get in touch with the dude and realise we are pretty much standing in his front yard. His house was next door to David Beckhams old place in the hills. So we walk in past a couple of BMW's and some expensive looking older car and are met by this Jewish dude. He is an actor and a friend of a friend. I really wish i had a video camera for the whole hour or so we were there. Basically, me, 2 guys and a girl rock up to a party of about 20 people. People are drinking and dancing in the living room. There is a balcony that looks over most of LA. I decide to give myself a tour and realise that this house is 7 stories high. Every level is the same, wooden floors, plasma TV's huge bathrooms etc. And every single level is empty. I recon i could have moved in nd the dude wouldnt have even known.

Anyway, go back up to the party just in time for the host to make a speech. It was like something from a movie. He got up on a bench of some sort and raised his red plastic cup, began talking about how we were all together on this journey and it has just begun. There will be partys and bla bla bla, but he was so into it, i could tell he had practiced his speech. I was tripping out cos i seemed to be the only one that thought this was the lamest thing i had ever seen. Then the dude just starts dancing and really staring at everyone around him. Like dancing like a queer but super seriously and looking at everyone as if they are blown away by his moves. His glances were mostly captured by the huge wall sized mirror that was at the far end of the living room. He was pretty much putting on a show for himself. Awesome. It was sort of like this

Some guy with an australian accent came up and started telling me he was from melbourne, I asked him where abouts in melbourne and how long he had been out for, and he said "just kidding, im an actor, thats my australian accent". Dickhead.

Played drums last night for a friends band at rehearsal. Im not a drummer. My 3 beats got me through the jam though. Now i have blisters cos im a gay. Went outside for a smoke and met a dude called "Crazy Chrome". Dude was off his head, big black guy, kept bumping chests with me and calling me his n**ger. Wanted me to smoke a blunt with him, but i bailed on it cos, well he was insane, and his name was crazy chrome.

Trying to plan europe now, think im gunna have to cut tokyo and melbs off the list due to lack of cashish. Maybe if clients started paying me i could holiday forever.

If your in europe or the uk from April 9 - June 8ish then hit me up.

Oh yeh, ust pulled some images off of my blackjack phone.

New England Clam Chowder... Is it the red or the white? - i found it funny.

I wish i could come up with some witty tagline for this. Preggo? what the fuck.

The finest beverage in America. Addict.

Theres heaps of Australian shit over here that I always get asked about. Do you drink Fosters, Do New Zealanders really hate you, Do you eat at Outback Steakhouse (a chain over here), so I was buying cigarettes this morning and saw this. Boomerang Vodka. Its so legit it even has a kangaroo on it. I bet this is what steve irwin drank before touching Crocodiles.

peace.

Ben Ashley...

2009-03-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

Ben Ashley flaked out on Europe. Pretty sure he is one of maybe 6 people that actually read this so this post is dedicated to him, and his lack of ability to come to Europe. This photo isnt modified, he actually got strangely twisted during childbirth, he makes the most of life but.

So I am now going to hit Europe solo. My chances of being accosted and tortured may have gone up by about 600% but now I get to do whatever I want without having to worry about anyone elses feelings. Would have been a party travelling with Ash but i gotta make the most out of the cards that are dealt.

Im sort of bummed that I have to leave LA. Still got another month or so but this place is pretty rad. there are pros and cons but theres so much shit going on here its going to be hard to go back and chill in perth without feeling even boreder than I did before. Will definately be looking into the US visa, even if just to bounce between LA and Aus.

anyway, theres some funny shit that happens here, i have witnessed a bunch of it.

Went to the cinema to see Slumdog Millionare last night. Yep it was rad, just like everyone said. Saw it at the Arclight cinema in hollywood. Shit is crazy, it looks like the domestic terminal at Perth airport. When you go to see a movie a girl comes out before the movie starts and gives you a run down on the director and shit then everyone claps. Rad.

TV over here is almost completely programmed and written whilst on acid. I swear to god the whole random humour thing has been taken to an absolute extreme. I barely understand any of it, but people watch it and just pretend they are so messed up that they get it and I dont because im not as cool as them. Like the Tim and Eric : Awesome show, great job. Sort of funny, mainly shit.

Went to a bar called Sky Bar on Sunset the other night. It was the coolest place i have ever been. Bar around a pimped out pool, little booths and couches and shit. Then i got home and was listening to Nas and he rapped about it. Yeh, thats how cool it was. Didnt see nas there. pretty bummed.

went to the comedy shop or factory or some shit. Its mad famous apparently. The dude in there was shit, there was about 5 people in the crowd and he started trying to pick on me. I bailed. That dude gets paid to make fun of people, I just do it as a hobby, chances are he was way better at it than I, plus he had a mic and amplification. And a stage. You cant compete with that, even if the dude is bald and shit.

My mate Adam is going to be a famous actor. Life is sort of like the first season of entourage for him at the moment. I cant figure out if im Drama or Turtle. Will get back to you. This is him.

Kurt got all his hair cut off and looks like a 12 year old boy.

I started boxing downstairs from the office. Dudes name is Tiger and he was an olympic champion for Nigeria. He is Gwen Stefanis personal trainer. I realised that I probably drop celebrity names on here and sound like a twat. So im just oging to get them all out at once. Its hollywood, celebrities live here, they are totally unentertaining in real life. The evil Madden brothers train downstairs, so does the fat dude from csi miami. Tommy Lee parked outside work the other week and took him and Pamela andersons son out around melrose. All the dudes from Nick Canons Wil'in out are around the place all the time. Everytime you mention that cholo photographer everyone refers to him as their homey, Ari gold was in the sunglasses shop the other day (he didnt say boom, not once) pretty sure I saw TI in vegas, but was pretty drunk and it could have been any swarve black dude with sunnies on. The old dude from entrourage is a drunk and lurks around the place. Kanye and Puffy were in the club near our house the other night, i wasnt. Cobra snake allegedly photographs around the place but i havent seen him or his jewish afro. I was in a club the other week and there was a guy as tall as me so i danced up next to him, joking that he was Kobe, turns out he did play for the lakers but wasnt Kobe. That chick from American Beauty and American Pie was eating in the burger joint 2 seats away from me the other week. I thought about hugging her but bailed on the idea. Kelly Osborne is short and stumpy and I saw her in a bar, The whole cast of the new 90210 were at a party at that other doosh celebrities house. That dude from Van Wilder that is a drunk and says "The radest fucking dude alive" or something was at a house party too the other week, I was eating lunch the other day and that little whiney loser shitbag singer from Yellowcard was sitting at the table next to me. I wanted to say something about his shitty band and their nu metal looking drummer but i couldnt string the words together. The dude that is the voice of the rat from Ratatoulle was drinking at the same bar as me the other night, i cant remember how I have that information. I think thats abotu it to be honest, not all that inspiring. They seem to eat and drink too.

Hollywood is mad dirty and unsafe. Hollywood is a raging party with heaps of super legit people making shit happen. Pretty huge contrast.

Im about to go to the launch party for a high budget Porno. Random.

Doing some work for a lady who worked on the HOPE campaign for Obama with Sheppard Fairy. She gets to meet the president soon, I dont.

Changed my flights today to fly to London on April 9 instead of April 12 so that I can see Poison the Well at the Barfly on April 10. Siiiiiiked.

Meeting up with Fab on my birthday in Amsterdam then going to hang with him in Milan. Now i will be the foreigner that everyone takes the piss out of's accent. Shoe will be firmly on the other foot. Hopefully i dont tell any italians that i will "blow them" as fab did illuding to the fact that he would "blow them up, as in kill them". Fingers Crossed. This is Fab with me when i was made of cardboard.

This is a rant. Probably doesnt make much sense.

Hope everyone at home is livin well.

muchos lovos.

Its like a jungle sometimes...

2009-02-28T13:48:00.001-08:00

Went to this shitty bar on Cuenga the other night, just to chill with some good LA crew i have met. The dude on the door was funny as shit. Wouldnt stop mentioning his brother, like every 2 seconds. Then he asked me if i knew grinspoon. Dudes coolness quickly lapsed. Swear to god every rocker dude i meet out here thinks that people actually like that band. Rad..

Got drunk, met a giant girl out the front on a cigarette break. She was annoying and told me she was from Philidelphia. I told her that i thought it was discusting the way that her people treated Tom Hanks. She didnt get it.

Sponsored a fashion show last night and sort of the grand opening of a hair salon that is underneath the office. Heaps of chicken, heaps of mac and cheese. Pretty rad. Did a couple of canvas prints up for auction, the event was a charity thing for the Midnight Mission on Skid Row. Made me think of that song from little shop of horrors.

ended up hanging out in the Sneaktip offices after the show, they are just down the hall. Checked out the new range samples, Marlon has his shit on lockdown. Good dude, good hustle. Ended up hitting the HUF and DVS party down next door to canters on Fairfax. Drinks were a lot cheaper than most places. Got suitably drunk. Ended up raging with dudes from the Hundreds and a bunch of other good labels. A black girl out the front of the bar told us we had no respect cos we were drinking on the street. Kurt wrote her off. ate pizza. cabbed home.

Need to get a snapper so i can get general party photos. 350d isnt too travel friendly. My Blackjack takes shitty snaps too.

Walked down melrose the other day and came across a bunch of flyers pasted to street posts. I love how this guy really tries to sell his whole pitch by writing pizza and movies on the top and bottom of the flyer. Latino asian and white girls were cuing up to call this dude. Smooooth.

The exchange rate is kicking my ass so hard here. Plus the fact that ANZ the nazi bank are giving me an exchange rate on my credit card that is around the 62c mark, when the rest of the world seems to be bouncing around the 72c mark. Gunna have to sort something out.

My cousin in Manchester just hooked me up with tickets to Utd vs Tottenham at Old Trafford. Siiiiked.

Ben Ashley is becoming less and less contactable. Possible bail out on europe. Hoping not because solo european travellers often end up at that place from the Hostel movies, or even worse on Contiki. Rough.

Had a great piss on hollywood and highland. thought it was worth photographing.

Just saw the lineup for bamboozle. Think i might hit it up before i bail LA. Bronx, Parkway, Have Heart, Thrice and a bunch of shit across 2 days. Really wanna see bronx in LA, even if it is at an emo festival (that is headlined by 50 cent....)

gang death

2009-02-24T17:56:00.000-08:00

Decided to go for a walk and take some snaps last night. Bout 930pm I walked from the office, down Melrose, up Fairfax then took a right on Sunset. Didnt know that sunset was sketchy as shit. Walked straight into about 5 latino gangsters. Shit was real. Thought it was a wrap for me. They stalked me for about 20 minutes then i ducked into a few stores and came out and they would be waiting and shit. Ended up at Burger King getting a feed and they came in and tried to hustle me. Not siked. Bailed to starbucks. International house of safety. Wont be doing that walk again. damn.

Anyway heres some shots.

Oh i went out last night and kelly osborne was sitting next to us in some dive bar. Then i bought a hat this morning and jeremy piven (ari gold) was checking out glasses in the same store. Viva los angeles.

Just planned eurotrip. Going to be in London / Manchester/ Coventry from April 12 - May 2 then meet up with the notorious ben ashley to hit the following

amsterdam
berlin
prague
munich
venice
rome
milan
lauterbrennan
nice
barcelona
madrid
ibiza
paris
tokyo
melbourne

then back to good old perth to get my US visa sussed and juggle a few other things. Should be home around June 10 i think

If united make the european cup final i will definately be heading to Rome for late may too.

Trying to hook up old trafford tickets at the moment for while im in Manchester.

peace out homies.

life and crimes

2009-02-21T15:34:00.000-08:00

where to fucking start.

LA is crazy, i say this shit all the time but the pace of things here is ridiculous. Not even in a lame way, just in the fact that everyone is doing somehting interesting, everyone is super nice and everyone is keen to get you involved in cool shit.

I cant even remember what I have posted on here so im just going to blurt out shit.

Went out to the echoplex and met a bunch of super cool people. Ended up hanging out with Isis and Graem from thunderheist. They killed it at the show and me and kurt just pretty much walked back stage, i started putting masking tape on everyone, ended up hanging at their hotel talking shit and getting high. Check em out, they make good songs and stuff. This photo popped up on the net, the dude in the front was good value, he runs a lot of shit here as far as partys go, we didnt know this, so kurt kept putting his finger over the tattoo on the dudes chest so that it said ROUBLE instead of TROUBLE. Everyone was calling him roubles. He wasnt siked, everyone else was. Tough break. Ended up hanging out with the futurecop dudes too. They played music that sounded like the soundtrack to old atari games. Good dudes, from manchester. One looked like he was a doctor.

First three weeks here i went out every single night. Theres always something going on. Met some good crew, ate a lot of shit, drank a lot of jack daniels. I cant drink vodka in this country, its too strong. Call me a pussy but vomiting on people at the bar isnt cool anywhere. Went pretty nuts with the holga, but i think the flash is out of sync so its now being used strictly as a day cam.
Been drinking at a bar called Birds. Its pretty cool, the chic that owns it is old and mental and ets on the bar with a hula hoop all the time. Ended up playing some fucked up drinking game with a couple of friends and the door man there, ended badly. It was a monday. Didnt quite get back on track till thurs.

went to a gallery show that sheppard fairey had shit at. Think hes pretty over rated. maybe not hm, but his style is everywhere now. Like evvvverywhere. So u see one of his originals and it looks tired as shit. Sucks to be him.

Pretty keen to get an apartment near hollywood blvd. Theres heaps of old loft style places with like fire escape balconys and shit. Good place. Took these shots from that area
Henney wasnt mine, some G must have left it there. Pity i missed it.

Went to vegas on tuesday for Magic and Project, made heaps of good hookups. Vegas is fucking nuts, didnt really take many photos. Its like a theme park, heaps of cheap shit and good partys.
So heres how it went down, the dude from Sneaktip works in the office block here, came over and said come down to vegas, we got a stall etc. So we busted out some work and left the next day. The whole idea was to go see Kid Cudi play the Famous DCMA party on tues night. Anyway, we dont get in till like 2am on wed morning, drove through the desert. Looked like the set from These hills Have Eyes. It was creepy as shit. Missed the party. Anyyyway. The next night i meet this bad ass gangster looking vatos out the front of the Bellagio. One of them has a mr cartoon piece on his arm. These guys were fucking bad ass looking, but i ended up chatting to them about mr cartoon, australia, magic etc etc. They were cool as shit. Annnyway, one of them tells me that he was at the Kid Cudi party the night before. Said that dude killed it and it was the best night in vegas. Then he tells me that Michael Jordan was there just chillin like it was no thing. Michael Jordan. Shit. Worst missed party ever.

Anyway, made heaps of contacts at project. Hit some crazy partys. Scammed into the Undefeated party and saw Atrak killing it. No one gave a shit, was super lame. Dude was on it.

Hit the Wesc party at the venitian. it was shit.

Ended up at the Hudson jeans party and creative republic or something. Was fucking huge. massive massive pool, huge club, like 4000 people. Hangin out by the pool and 2 kids from perth just walk up. Crazy. Ended up raging with them into the whee hours. Got hustled into a strip club. Ripped off. Fuck vegas.

My good friend and bullshit designer Callum arrived in LA a couple of days later. Hes heading off on tour with Ceremony next week but we are gunna rage LA for sure. Was good to hang out with a good dude on the other side of the world. check him out here. www.callumpreston.com

Went to a party at this guys house cos one of kurts friends knows him

was right up in the hills, the sort of place where you look out over LA and know how rich you are. He's on ER or something.

Met some girls, they were cool, turned out they were the cast of the new 90210 series. Then found out that the girl we actually went with is one of the Bratz. Crazy shit. Didnt know either of the shows but people were jocking the shit out of them. I stole some face moisturiser from the house. Sort of feel bad about it. But needed some momento. you can take the guy out of perth but....

Running out of money. Doin heaps of aus work though Should be sweet. may sell crack. Will watch 50 cent movie to suss out the logistics of it all. Will make the turn on to crenshaw

Smoking way too much. Parlaiments are the one.

Drank some grape drink. Was rad.

Redbull comes in half litre cans.

The above post is totally out of chronological order.

queens get money.

peas out

Hmmm

2009-02-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

So there is MS13 graffiti on my street. Pretty keen not to get killed.

Just saw the old dude from entourage that hates ari and wanted to make that ramones movie. He looked drunk, but im pretty sure thats just the way he rolls.

Chris Brown, Police Chases and party life

2009-02-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

This place is pretty fucking crazy. Everything rages every night like its a weekend. Even to the point that the weekend is quieter than the average night. Bars shut at 2am and then everyone just rages on to an afterparty, usually in the hills at some mansion with a valet and shit. Im tripping balls.

Cigarettes are mad cheap here too, i just bought a carton of 15 packs of marlboro lights for $30US. Cheers america, siked on cancer. I saw a car chase on the tele last night and everyone thought it was Chris Brown. The dude ended up topping himself which was pretty sad. It was about 3 blocks from my office.

Been working like a demon, 12 hour days minimum really. Just knocked out a catalogue and range for a company in Aus called Valyside. Delby took the photos, came up dope. Cant wait to see it printed.

Its my brothers birthday today, hes pretty rad. Bummed i dont get to rage with him at Dorcia this week. Sorta missing that shit. And being able to go for a run, or walk around at night without the fear of murder. Heres a photo of danny eating a kebab. he hell likes kebabs.

Melrose is pretty tame as far as gangs and shit go, but someone got held at gunpoint last week at the bottom of my stairs at like 930am. Dont rob me motherfuckers. Please.

I recon if someone pulled a gun on me i would be pretty scared. Standard.

Kurt smokes heaps of weed. And is going to be hell dark on me for saying that.

Thinking about getting an apartment on hwood bvd. Its awesome. Not siked on floor sleeps. Crashed on many couches lately.

Been snapping like a demon with the lomo ash got me.

Pasteups start this week

Its fucking cold. No shit.

California never rains. who told me that. lier!

peas.

2009-02-05T19:02:00.000-08:00

aiit so im finding my feet over here.

I just won an international design award from idesign for the Haidace Catalogue i did back in early 2008. The awards are in LA while im here. So... party all the time.

I just bought a plant for my office. Its nice.

shit is freaking me out a bit here. In a good way mostly.

99c store is like as big as bunnings. And sells pretty much everything. They lie though cos we found a pez despenser that was marked at 1.49. liars.

Homeless people are actually pretty funny. Not in a "laugh at the homeless guy" way, more in their general outlook on life and their banter. I had a cigarette with a guy with 3 teeth and face tattoos today, he was cool as shit. I have started photographing homeless people and hookers with the Lomo ash gave me. May die.

My pasteups start next week, we are going to buy a single colour print machine real cheap tomorrow. siked. this guy is killing it here, but he is a bit shit.

Theres a whole bunch of jock dudes here. worst. Saw the biggest cock block of all time at Best Buy. There was a small jewish guy trying to pull this amazing brazillian chick, helping her with digital tv receivers or something. He was overachieving like a motherfucker, and the girl was actually responding pretty well, then just as he is about to go for the number this Jock dude from like 5 metres away strikes up this big conversation with her and steals her away. Jewish man was so off it. I was just watching it like it was reality tv.

Fast food. Everywhere, 24 hours, $1 menu at macdonalds, In n Out burger.

Its impossible to stay fit: Dont run at night or ull die.
Just stay home and eat ur $1 menu

The smell of weed is in the air constantly. Its legalised here if u have a medicinal card. U can get one from any doctor in california if you claim to have insomnia. Then u can go to stores and buy weed.

The people across the hall from us have directed pretty much every video on MTV, beyonce, britney, kings of leon. im doing work for them now. They are like 25. Its ridiculous.

Nick Cannon is in the same office block as our office. He is married to Mariah Carey and wears suits that are too big for him.

Parlaiment cigarettes are amazing

I went to the opening party of some new apartment building last night. Drank organic vodka. It was all free. Prices for he apartments start at $2m. I was in vans and a flanno. Everyone elses hair was slicked back. Me and the bar guy hit it off. Everyone else thoguht i had snuck in. Got rowdy, told some girls that no one in america has real names. they were called Telesha and something or other.

Going to see justice tonight and heading to fucked up and trash talk tomorrow night.

Went to hermosa beach last week. It was so good. sort of what scarborough should be but isnt.

The woman kurt is friends with is some major PR chick and was talking to Katy Perry on AOL yesterday. She passed on a "wassup" message to her for me.

Im trying to scam my way into the grammys on sat night.

fun times

peace out

i started a blog...

2009-02-05T18:42:00.001-08:00

Alright so Im pretty against blogs. You know when one of your friends gets on and spills his emo thoughts about the world like he is typing in a diary. Im pretty off it. Me and most of the people I know laugh at those people, even talk about killing them. And yet here I am, setting up a blogspot and talking to it like its the closing scenes of Doogie Howser MD. Fuck that show was cool.

Anyways, I have been posting myspace bulletins etc and making various facebook updates on my status about what I am up to at the moment, so heres another way i can publicise my mediocre existance to you, my friends or whoever has a boring enough life to read about mine.

But hey, im travelling, i have a couple of cameras and people are interested in this shit. So fuck you and your judgements man. My dad told me yesterday that I should stop swearing on facebook so im going to tone it down a little, however this is my life blog so i can say whatever without parental pressure.